At about 5 feet off the ground at its highest point, this “rainbow tree” as we’ve named it makes a perfect athletic challenge for my kids who love to climb on it.

My eight-year-old son made his way to the highest part of the sideways trunk and proudly asked me…. “Dad, is this dangerous?”

Without hesitation, I *almost* replied… “No, not really. It’s not that high.”

But then, I had a slight impression to mentally probe a little deeper into the motive behind his question. What was he really asking me?

“Dad, am **I** dangerous?” “Dad, do I have what it takes to be a man?” “Dad, as my father, as the man I most look up to, respect, and admire at this stage of my life, do you affirm me?”

Before me was an opportunity to either casually ignore my son’s inquisition about his growth toward manhood, or to build him up in it.

“Yes, son. That IS dangerous. Be careful!” came out of my mouth instead.

And so, with a smile back at me, my son continued to conquer the sideways rainbow tree, beaming at the thought of how “dangerous” he was. In a good way.

Application for me as a dad: Always consider my words when interacting with my children. Never be flippant in my responses to them. Sometimes, probably more often than not, there is more “below the surface” to their questions. When giving answers, look for ways to affirm, validate, and communicate to my children that I love them deeply and respect them as individuals.

For daughters, the questions may come out more like… “Am I pretty?” “Can you spend time with me?” “Can we do something together?” For she is looking for affirmation from her father of both her outward AND inward beauty. And she wants to know that you treasure her and desire to pursue relationship with her.

And remember… this applies to our children at any age.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – One of the most impactful interviews I’ve ever heard on this topic of validating our sons and daughters as their fathers was this video interview with John Eldredge. It’s a MUST-WATCH!

Please Like Us On Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/familydads

Like This Message?
Please share this link with other dads you know!

Got a Comment? Post it below.

READ with them. ALOUD. Frequently.

ALL of my children enjoy spending time reading aloud together with their Dad. So does my wife.

On an almost daily basis, I read Scripture aloud to my family. We call it “Family Scripture Time.”

For younger children, Scriptures with action and stories work best, like Genesis, Exodus, and Acts, as opposed to more instructional Scriptures like Leviticus, Proverbs, Galatians, etc.

Consistent Scripture reading is one of the best ways to prepare the soil of their hearts for receiving spiritual truth and building their faith.

“So faith comes by hearing, that is by hearing The Word of YHWH proclaimed.” – Romans 10:17

I also like to read one-on-one with my children. My sons have enoyed the books by Bob Schultz. The chapters are short, fun, “guy” stories that always have a great message on character or boyhood, and Q&A at the end so we can talk about what we’ve read.

My daughter and I have read some of the “classics” together… you know, the ones that seem to always involve a little girl, a horse, a dog, or life on a farm.

If you’ve read a book with your son or daughter they’ve really enjoyed, please let me know. We’ll add it to the list of great family reading books. If you become a FamilyDads email subscriber, we can send you the list as it grows over time so you and your family can benefit from other dads’ positive reading experiences with their children.

To summarize, if you aren’t already reading aloud to your family, take the lead and begin doing this.

Read Scripture together as a family as often as possible.

And read family-friendly books one-on-one with your children. Not only will they benefit from the content you read together, but you’ll be modeling to them a habit they can emulate when they too become parents. And even pass on to their children.

From one family dad to another,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

PS – Don’t forget to contact us with books you’ve read with your son or daughter they’ve liked.

As my children curiously watched me grab one dry-erase marker after another, I drew a picture of my brain in the middle with lots of bubble-captions all around it. Each bubble consisted of something that is currently weighing on my mind.

And I ran out of space on the white board trying to list everything!

My goal was to show my wife and children all the things and “projects” that consume much of my thoughts so they would know why I often feel overwhelmed and “focused” much of the time.

This morning I told my wife I was transferring all these “thoughts” into a text file on my computer.

That’s when she dropped a bomb on me. A huge bomb.

She said… “Make sure you include your children on your list.”

Ka-BOOM! Whoa! I had not even so much as written their names on the white board!

And yet, outside of my faith and my wife, they are the highest priorities in my life. Or are they?

Why did I not start at the top of the white board by listing my wife and children first??? Probably because I take them for granted too much of the time. Truth be told, it is more like MOST of the time.

This was a convicting reminder, once again, that I have to be continually INTENTIONAL — even VIGILANT — about communicating to each person in my family how important they are to me.

And not just with my words, but also with my time, my schedule, my actions.

That means some of the things on my white board won’t get done. At least not as soon as I want them to. But that’s part of being a family dad. We know the importance of prioritizing our family, and we are willing to “cheat” other things in our life so that our wife and children get more of our time and attention when they need it.

So… What’s on your white board?

Time for me to go make some modifications to mine.

From one family dad to another,
Joey Watkins
Host of FamilyDads.com

Our Family Whiteboard

Trace Adkins recorded the song “You’re Gonna Miss This” that spent a lot of time at #1 on the charts for good reason.

Maybe you’ve heard it?

It’s a message reminding us parents how quickly our children grow up, and how soon we’re going to miss them and all those moments when they were young.

My wife and I both got blurry eyes the first time we heard this song.

The lyrics to the chorus are:

You’re gonna miss this.

You’re gonna want this back.

You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast.

These are some good times,

So take a good look around.

You may not know it now,

but you’re gonna miss this.

Below is official music video with Trace Adkins. It’s a great song to listen to again and again — like on one of those days when being a parent isn’t, shall we say, so much fun.

This video is embedded from YouTube. If you are unable to view it, click here.

After a fun visit to enjoy the furry and feathered animals at a local pet store, we walked across the parking lot to a newly built massive furniture store. It was HUGE — taking up at least a city block, if not more.

Once inside, we were immediately impressed with the size of the store, and even more impressed as we walked around looking at the variety and quality of all the expensive furniture inside.

That’s when I began to notice something potentially DANGEROUS happening in my heart.

I sat down and leaned back in a very nice leather recliner couch. It was luxurious and very comfortable.  I casually mentioned to my daughter, “This is much nicer than our couch.” She agreed.

Then we went over to the bedding section and began testing the selection of mattresses, laying down on one after another. Again, we commented on how much more comfortable and nicer they were than ours at home.

After wandering around the store together through room after room of showroom furniture, we finally made our way back to the entrance.

Heading back across the parking lot, we walked past a late-model luxury car. I noticed the inside, which sported an elegant wood trim dashboard console and stylish leather interior.

“Wow,” I thought to myself. “That car sure is a lot nicer than ours.”

My heart wrestled with these longings for “bigger and better”, “nicer and newer” things as we made our way to our car. Before me was a choice: to allow discontentment to take root in my heart, or to be thankful and grateful for the provisions God had already given to me and my family.

When we compare the provisions God has already given us with newer, nicer, more expensive, and more comfortable items that don’t belong to us, there is usually a struggle, a wrestling, a temptation, a DANGER — envy, covetousness, and discontentment.

Whether it’s a new car, a recreational vehicle, furniture, a house, or even our spouse, when we compare what has already been provided to us with what is “out there” in the marketplace, a tv commercial, a webpage, or even another person, we run the risk of becoming discontent in our hearts. Which can lead to foolish decisions and regrets, bondage to debt, and even more tragic consequences in our lives.

If we compare any provision God has given us with something else that we don’t have, there is potential for danger around the corner. We must always be on guard, paying attention to what is happening in our hearts in any given situation.

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.” ~Proverbs 4:23

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Attention Dads with Daughters: Two Great Resources

She Calls Me Daddy Seven Things Every Man Needs To Know About Building A Complete Daughter Learn More

What A Daughter Needs From Her Dad How A Man Prepares His Daughter For Life Learn More

This music video by Johnny Diaz is a creative, light-hearted, and powerful reminder to ladies of all ages that the age-old message “beauty is only skin deep” is indeed a false one. And a reminder to us dads to remember to continually remind our daughters and our wives through our words and actions that “there could never be a more beautiful you”… for true beauty lies within the heart.

A daughter in college sends a “video letter” to her dad thanking him for his patient, persistent love in her life over the years, even in the midst of her disagreements with him, and she reflects on their special relationship which has grown closer over the years. This is a very powerful message of encouragement and tenderness. Fellow dads, take 3 minutes to watch it! It will touch you.

Whoa! That’s a lot of information out there for dads and moms.

And most dads like you and me won’t have the time nor interest to read even a tiny fraction of all those books.

Author George Barna, a dad himself with two daughters, (you may have heard of him, he is also a well-known Christian pollster and researcher) recently published a new book on parenting with a very unique twist:

“To amass a body of knowledge that could be absorbed and applied by all parents to help them mazimize their parenting potential.”

Sounds very worthwhile, doesn’t it?  After all, what parent doesn’t want to maximize their parenting potential?!!

But to write such a book, Barna’s team had to gather specific data from three sources:

1. Telephone surveys nationwide of parents with children under the age of 18. The parents were asked about their challenges, successes, and failures as parents.

2. Existing books on parenting practices, particularly those with a spiritual dimension. Those elements that were identified as significant were studied more closely.

3. Personal interviews of more than ten thousand (yes, 10,000!) young adults in their twenties who were leading “transformed” lives with genuine, mature faith (not merely church attenders.)

These young adults were asked what happened during their formative years that “worked.”

Their parents were then interviewed for their input on upbringing these children.

Would you like to know what the research revealed?

It’s all laid out in a concise, timely book by George Barna called “Revolutionary Parenting.”

In the book, Barna starts with a look at the current crisis in American parenting, specifically as it relates to raising children with a Biblical worldview and an understanding of spiritual matters.

The next section… which is the bulk of the book… summarizes the parenting research that his team did.

The final section closes with a very personal chapter called “How Studying Revolutionary Parenting Changed Me” in which Barna talks about ten specific lessons he learned from his research that has impacted his own parenting of his two daughters, and he shares all this with the reader.

One dad reader commented…
“This is one of the few books every Christian parent must read! Great book!!! Wish it had been around years ago! If you are a new parent or even if your kids are already teens — you need this book. It is short: a fast, easy, but meaningful read.”

Learn More and Order Revolutionary Parenting for yourself, or as a gift for another parent you know, at DadResources.com, the bookstore that supports FamilyDads–
http://www.DadResources.com/product.asp?itemid=16