3 thoughts quickly filled my mind.

30 years from now, my dad will be gone.

I will be at the same stage of life my dad is now.

And my oldest son will be my age — likely with a family of his own.

It begged several questions in my mind:

“What will it be like not having my dad around?”

“When I am his age looking back, will I be pleased with how my life turned out?”

“What am I doing to prepare my sons for their journey ahead as men, husbands, and fathers?”

Sure, they’re just kids now. And 30 years is a long time — or is it?

I believe it’s very healthy to contemplate the future. As leaders of our families, we dads must have vision. We must have plans to turn our vision into reality. And we must have perseverance and discipline to be consistent and proactive in leading our families.

Here’s an example to illustrate this.

One of my highest priorities for my children is that they have a strong knowledge and love of Scripture when they are adults. That’s part of my vision for them.

So we read Scripture together. As a family. Often. Each of our children (who are old enough to read) has their own copy of Scripture. We have “Scripture Reading Time” several times a week (my goal is daily.) We all sit together in our family room in a circle or around our dining room table. I start and we go around the room taking turns reading. I give commentary and we discuss what we read along the way. It’s a great way for them to build communication skills, but more importantly to discuss and absorb Scripture from their father. From their father – the one who was divinely given the greatest influence in their lives.

We’re also working on memorizing Scriptures together as a family, learning to hide it in our hearts (Psalm 119:11) and meditate upon it (Psalm 1:2).

This is just one example of how vision becomes reality, and I’d love to hear what visions you have for your family and what you are doing to see them come to pass. So please post your comments below, and let’s learn from one another.

And always remember…

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow let us go into this city and spend a year there, trade and make a profit.’ Whereas you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? You are like a thin mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” -YA’acob 4:13-14 (called James in modern Bibles)

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
A fellow Family Dad

At about 5 feet off the ground at its highest point, this “rainbow tree” as we’ve named it makes a perfect athletic challenge for my kids who love to climb on it.

My eight-year-old son made his way to the highest part of the sideways trunk and proudly asked me…. “Dad, is this dangerous?”

Without hesitation, I *almost* replied… “No, not really. It’s not that high.”

But then, I had a slight impression to mentally probe a little deeper into the motive behind his question. What was he really asking me?

“Dad, am **I** dangerous?” “Dad, do I have what it takes to be a man?” “Dad, as my father, as the man I most look up to, respect, and admire at this stage of my life, do you affirm me?”

Before me was an opportunity to either casually ignore my son’s inquisition about his growth toward manhood, or to build him up in it.

“Yes, son. That IS dangerous. Be careful!” came out of my mouth instead.

And so, with a smile back at me, my son continued to conquer the sideways rainbow tree, beaming at the thought of how “dangerous” he was. In a good way.

Application for me as a dad: Always consider my words when interacting with my children. Never be flippant in my responses to them. Sometimes, probably more often than not, there is more “below the surface” to their questions. When giving answers, look for ways to affirm, validate, and communicate to my children that I love them deeply and respect them as individuals.

For daughters, the questions may come out more like… “Am I pretty?” “Can you spend time with me?” “Can we do something together?” For she is looking for affirmation from her father of both her outward AND inward beauty. And she wants to know that you treasure her and desire to pursue relationship with her.

And remember… this applies to our children at any age.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – One of the most impactful interviews I’ve ever heard on this topic of validating our sons and daughters as their fathers was this video interview with John Eldredge. It’s a MUST-WATCH!

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When I was younger, I really had no interest in history. I just thought it was boring and irrelevant to modern times. But as a man and a dad now, I find it interesting to learn about the journeys and times of those who lived in earlier eras.

I recently heard that in ancient Hebrew culture, the past and the future were “flipped.” They saw the past as “what is before us, what we can see” and the future as “what is behind us, what we don’t know and cannot see.” Pretty interesting perspective when you consider how this might have affected them as family units, as a people, and in their decision-making.

I know a pastor who visits his local cemetary just to reflect, pray, and read the gravestones. He says it really helps give perspective on how short and temporary life is in light of eternity.

A fellow dad has mentioned numerous times of the impact on him from meeting regularly with an old guy once a week for breakfast… just to gain the wisdom and perspective of this older man.

“You do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? You are like a thin mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” — James 4:14

Do you find yourself dwelling upon the future and projecting what it may hold for you? Or do you take advantage of opportunities to absorb history, knowledge of past generations — the lives, the experiences, the wisdom of those who have gone before us?

It helps bring perspective on life. And on fatherhood.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

I was invited to a pre-screening earlier this summer, and I can tell you it was a very emotionally “moving” experience for me to watch this movie.

Go see this movie. Seriously.

Take your wife, or go with a buddy or two. (But I don’t recommend bringing your children. With a law enforcement storyline, it includes violence and themes inappropriate for them.)

Without giving too much of the storyline away, the movie is about the lives of five dads, four of whom work together as police officers. Each dad comes from a different background and upbringing, which impacts their roles as fathers and how they handle issues of faith and family in the movie.

The movie is very fast-paced, full of action, and “what’s-gonna-happen-next?” moments.

You can watch the opening scene and trailer here–
http://www.courageousthemovie.com

To find a theater showing Courageous near you, go to http://www.courageousthemovie.com/theaterlist

Mark your calender. September 30. Go see this movie.

And let me know how it impacts you.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – I’d like to send you a resource called Courageous Living which includes inspiring quotes from the movie and excellent devotional messages for men on faith and family. We will mail it to you (in the US or Canada) with a donation of any amount to FamilyDads during the month of September.

PPS – Please contact FamilyDads if you recently signed up through the FamilyDads link for the training group I recommend called Inner Circle with Ryan Lee. I’d really like to help you implement this training and develop more time for your family.

In our family, it’s usually right when we’re ready to read Scripture, or about to head out the door to go somewhere when we hear our 2-year-old rather confidently proclaim, “I did pooh-pooh!”

Changing diapers is one of those really “practical” ways I try to help my wife. But I’ll confess, I do find it challenging to hold my tongue day after day and not gripe about this rather unpleasant task.

Sooner than I know, my 2-year-old son will be 6 years old and then 13 years old. And then he’ll be a dad himself one day.

Rather than grumble our way through those messy diapers and smelly wipes, we need to keep perspective by remembering that this too is part of life, it shall pass, and enjoy our kids while they are still young.

On the lighter side, if you have either already been through, or currently are in this stage of fatherhood, here is a video tribute for dads on the joys of changing diapers that is sure to bring a chuckle to you today–
http://familydads.com/blog/dads-changing-diapers/

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – If you signed up for Inner Circle, please contact us and let us know so we can notify you of our prayer support calls and also we want to send you our takeway notes from the weekly webinars. This week’s topic is on easy ways to get an ordinary blog to the top of Google – no matter how competitive the market is.

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More often than not, the answer I receive has to do with balancing family and work, stress, patience with their kids, and things like that.

However, one new subscriber recently shared one of his biggest challenges as a dad that I had never heard before. It really got me thinking, and I want to challenge you with it too.

He said one of his biggest challenges as a dad is:

“…not having my Dad around to ask advice, he went to be with the Lord 3 years ago.”

Whoa! That is pretty heavy.

I had several reactions when I read it.

First, I don’t want my sons to be in that position when they become dads one day. I want them to be able to come to me for advice and input when they need it. I want them to draw on my experience, insights, knowledge, and wisdom I’ve gained over the years.

Yes, we all will experience physical death at some point (unless our Messiah returns first!), but I want to be around as long as possible for my family. But unless I take personal responsibility for my health now by my choices in diet, exercise, sleep, and several other fitness factors, I’m not doing my part to make it happen.

Second, I reflected on my relationship with my own father. Do I take him too much for granted? How much longer will he be around? Am I taking advantage of his advice and experience? Is there anything I can do to help or encourage his health and longevity? How is our relationship?

And finally, I wondered about other young men who might be in a similar place without their earthly dad to go to for wisdom and advice as they walk this journey called fatherhood. Can FamilyDads do more to support these men? Are there any subscribers who would be interested in building relationships with fatherless sons like this guy?

Well, that’s a lot to think about. I hope it will do just that… get you thinking… about yourself, about your father, about other fatherless men, and about your own sons when they become dads and will need your advice and experience to draw on!

Feel free to contact FamilyDads with any ideas, suggestions, or input on any of these thoughts.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

P.S. – FamilyDads Fitness is for dads who understand the importance of giving attention NOW to your health and fitness to avoid health problems later that would impact both you and your family. Learn more

Maybe you can relate to that quote by John Lennon. I sure can!

Most dads I know, including myself, are busy making plans… plans for our work, plans for our weekends, plans for our family, plans for our house, our yard, our money, and so on.

But while we’re busy making all these plans… well, life happens.

Diapers need to be changed. Attitudes have to be dealt with. Spouses need to be communicated with. Dishes need to be washed. Bathrooms need to be cleaned. Bills need to be paid. Grass needs to be mowed.

And before we know it, our kids are no longer infants, toddlers, or grade school age. They’re in high school. Or college. And then ready to launch out as young adults on their own life journey.

I was reminded of this once again last weekend when my 2nd oldest son somehow reached his 8th birthday. How did that happen?!? How I wish I could find the “pause” button to keep my children from growing up so fast.

So let me encourage you today, fellow dad, to live in the moment.

“Carpe Diem.” Seize the day.

Take joy in your daily routine. Seriously.

Appreciate where each of your children are right now at their stage of development. And live each day engaged with them.

And engaged with your wife.

It’s time now for me to go spend some time holding my 6-week-old son and enjoying his chubby-cheeks baby smile… because I’ll be celebrating HIS 8th birthday just a few short months from now too!

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey

P.S. – Do you have a son or daughter graduating from high school this month? Make it a very special time and memory of how much you love them and are proud of them. Idea: Write a hand-written heart-to-heart letter to them from Dad. They will keep it for a very long time, perhaps even after you’re gone.

READ with them. ALOUD. Frequently.

ALL of my children enjoy spending time reading aloud together with their Dad. So does my wife.

On an almost daily basis, I read Scripture aloud to my family. We call it “Family Scripture Time.”

For younger children, Scriptures with action and stories work best, like Genesis, Exodus, and Acts, as opposed to more instructional Scriptures like Leviticus, Proverbs, Galatians, etc.

Consistent Scripture reading is one of the best ways to prepare the soil of their hearts for receiving spiritual truth and building their faith.

“So faith comes by hearing, that is by hearing The Word of YHWH proclaimed.” – Romans 10:17

I also like to read one-on-one with my children. My sons have enoyed the books by Bob Schultz. The chapters are short, fun, “guy” stories that always have a great message on character or boyhood, and Q&A at the end so we can talk about what we’ve read.

My daughter and I have read some of the “classics” together… you know, the ones that seem to always involve a little girl, a horse, a dog, or life on a farm.

If you’ve read a book with your son or daughter they’ve really enjoyed, please let me know. We’ll add it to the list of great family reading books. If you become a FamilyDads email subscriber, we can send you the list as it grows over time so you and your family can benefit from other dads’ positive reading experiences with their children.

To summarize, if you aren’t already reading aloud to your family, take the lead and begin doing this.

Read Scripture together as a family as often as possible.

And read family-friendly books one-on-one with your children. Not only will they benefit from the content you read together, but you’ll be modeling to them a habit they can emulate when they too become parents. And even pass on to their children.

From one family dad to another,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

PS – Don’t forget to contact us with books you’ve read with your son or daughter they’ve liked.

Tommy grew up in middle Tennessee, went to college where he played football, married his high school sweetheart, and landed a nice corporate job with FedEx.

It occurred to Tommy one day that he was spending more time with those gathered around the conference room table at the office than with those gathered around his kitchen table — his family.

The Heavenly Father began to put in Tommy a yearning to be together with his family. He ended up leaving his corporate job, picking up his family, and moving two hours away from the big city to basically start over again — only this time with different priorities.

Today, Tommy and his family share a deep, united love for one another. They are involved in a remarkable work half way around the world in a fragile, unstable part of Israel serving independent farmers — something Tommy would have never been able to do with his corporate job.

His journey has been indescribably rewarding for both Tommy and his family. In Tommy’s own words… “As I look back, the sacrifice was minimal compared to what I’ve gained… what we’ve all gained.”

Now, my point in telling you Tommy’s story is not to try and convince you to do what Tommy did with his family (unless you are led to!), but rather to encourage you with a story of how one dad’s heart turned to his family, and the direction and calling a family can receive as a result of courageously and obediently stepping out from cultural norms and putting family above work and career.

If you struggle balancing work and family, and work tends to get the bulk of your time each week, let me encourage you to make this struggle a serious matter of prayer and contemplation.

As the Heavenly Father draws your heart to your family, let Him guide you in making the decisions and choices that will be best for your family, even if that means making financial adjustments.

Get wise counsel, walk by faith, and remember that our window of time to raise our children is short and swift. And we dads have a high “Kingdom Calling” to lead our families, disciple our children, and who knows what work our family may be called to?!

PS – Tommy’s story has been turned into a DVD documentary called A Journey Home that has won several awards and inspiried many other dads and their families.

Tommy and Sherry were typical American parents. He was a manager at FedEx and she was a soccer mom raising two boys. But when the pressures of work began to affect their family, they chose to make significant changes to their lives to prioritize their family.  A Journey Home is the remarkable true story of divine intervention and a decision to choose family over work and career.

Watch the Trailer and Learn More