3 thoughts quickly filled my mind.

30 years from now, my dad will be gone.

I will be at the same stage of life my dad is now.

And my oldest son will be my age — likely with a family of his own.

It begged several questions in my mind:

“What will it be like not having my dad around?”

“When I am his age looking back, will I be pleased with how my life turned out?”

“What am I doing to prepare my sons for their journey ahead as men, husbands, and fathers?”

Sure, they’re just kids now. And 30 years is a long time — or is it?

I believe it’s very healthy to contemplate the future. As leaders of our families, we dads must have vision. We must have plans to turn our vision into reality. And we must have perseverance and discipline to be consistent and proactive in leading our families.

Here’s an example to illustrate this.

One of my highest priorities for my children is that they have a strong knowledge and love of Scripture when they are adults. That’s part of my vision for them.

So we read Scripture together. As a family. Often. Each of our children (who are old enough to read) has their own copy of Scripture. We have “Scripture Reading Time” several times a week (my goal is daily.) We all sit together in our family room in a circle or around our dining room table. I start and we go around the room taking turns reading. I give commentary and we discuss what we read along the way. It’s a great way for them to build communication skills, but more importantly to discuss and absorb Scripture from their father. From their father – the one who was divinely given the greatest influence in their lives.

We’re also working on memorizing Scriptures together as a family, learning to hide it in our hearts (Psalm 119:11) and meditate upon it (Psalm 1:2).

This is just one example of how vision becomes reality, and I’d love to hear what visions you have for your family and what you are doing to see them come to pass. So please post your comments below, and let’s learn from one another.

And always remember…

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow let us go into this city and spend a year there, trade and make a profit.’ Whereas you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? You are like a thin mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” -YA’acob 4:13-14 (called James in modern Bibles)

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
A fellow Family Dad

At about 5 feet off the ground at its highest point, this “rainbow tree” as we’ve named it makes a perfect athletic challenge for my kids who love to climb on it.

My eight-year-old son made his way to the highest part of the sideways trunk and proudly asked me…. “Dad, is this dangerous?”

Without hesitation, I *almost* replied… “No, not really. It’s not that high.”

But then, I had a slight impression to mentally probe a little deeper into the motive behind his question. What was he really asking me?

“Dad, am **I** dangerous?” “Dad, do I have what it takes to be a man?” “Dad, as my father, as the man I most look up to, respect, and admire at this stage of my life, do you affirm me?”

Before me was an opportunity to either casually ignore my son’s inquisition about his growth toward manhood, or to build him up in it.

“Yes, son. That IS dangerous. Be careful!” came out of my mouth instead.

And so, with a smile back at me, my son continued to conquer the sideways rainbow tree, beaming at the thought of how “dangerous” he was. In a good way.

Application for me as a dad: Always consider my words when interacting with my children. Never be flippant in my responses to them. Sometimes, probably more often than not, there is more “below the surface” to their questions. When giving answers, look for ways to affirm, validate, and communicate to my children that I love them deeply and respect them as individuals.

For daughters, the questions may come out more like… “Am I pretty?” “Can you spend time with me?” “Can we do something together?” For she is looking for affirmation from her father of both her outward AND inward beauty. And she wants to know that you treasure her and desire to pursue relationship with her.

And remember… this applies to our children at any age.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – One of the most impactful interviews I’ve ever heard on this topic of validating our sons and daughters as their fathers was this video interview with John Eldredge. It’s a MUST-WATCH!

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More often than not, the answer I receive has to do with balancing family and work, stress, patience with their kids, and things like that.

However, one new subscriber recently shared one of his biggest challenges as a dad that I had never heard before. It really got me thinking, and I want to challenge you with it too.

He said one of his biggest challenges as a dad is:

“…not having my Dad around to ask advice, he went to be with the Lord 3 years ago.”

Whoa! That is pretty heavy.

I had several reactions when I read it.

First, I don’t want my sons to be in that position when they become dads one day. I want them to be able to come to me for advice and input when they need it. I want them to draw on my experience, insights, knowledge, and wisdom I’ve gained over the years.

Yes, we all will experience physical death at some point (unless our Messiah returns first!), but I want to be around as long as possible for my family. But unless I take personal responsibility for my health now by my choices in diet, exercise, sleep, and several other fitness factors, I’m not doing my part to make it happen.

Second, I reflected on my relationship with my own father. Do I take him too much for granted? How much longer will he be around? Am I taking advantage of his advice and experience? Is there anything I can do to help or encourage his health and longevity? How is our relationship?

And finally, I wondered about other young men who might be in a similar place without their earthly dad to go to for wisdom and advice as they walk this journey called fatherhood. Can FamilyDads do more to support these men? Are there any subscribers who would be interested in building relationships with fatherless sons like this guy?

Well, that’s a lot to think about. I hope it will do just that… get you thinking… about yourself, about your father, about other fatherless men, and about your own sons when they become dads and will need your advice and experience to draw on!

Feel free to contact FamilyDads with any ideas, suggestions, or input on any of these thoughts.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

P.S. – FamilyDads Fitness is for dads who understand the importance of giving attention NOW to your health and fitness to avoid health problems later that would impact both you and your family. Learn more

READ with them. ALOUD. Frequently.

ALL of my children enjoy spending time reading aloud together with their Dad. So does my wife.

On an almost daily basis, I read Scripture aloud to my family. We call it “Family Scripture Time.”

For younger children, Scriptures with action and stories work best, like Genesis, Exodus, and Acts, as opposed to more instructional Scriptures like Leviticus, Proverbs, Galatians, etc.

Consistent Scripture reading is one of the best ways to prepare the soil of their hearts for receiving spiritual truth and building their faith.

“So faith comes by hearing, that is by hearing The Word of YHWH proclaimed.” – Romans 10:17

I also like to read one-on-one with my children. My sons have enoyed the books by Bob Schultz. The chapters are short, fun, “guy” stories that always have a great message on character or boyhood, and Q&A at the end so we can talk about what we’ve read.

My daughter and I have read some of the “classics” together… you know, the ones that seem to always involve a little girl, a horse, a dog, or life on a farm.

If you’ve read a book with your son or daughter they’ve really enjoyed, please let me know. We’ll add it to the list of great family reading books. If you become a FamilyDads email subscriber, we can send you the list as it grows over time so you and your family can benefit from other dads’ positive reading experiences with their children.

To summarize, if you aren’t already reading aloud to your family, take the lead and begin doing this.

Read Scripture together as a family as often as possible.

And read family-friendly books one-on-one with your children. Not only will they benefit from the content you read together, but you’ll be modeling to them a habit they can emulate when they too become parents. And even pass on to their children.

From one family dad to another,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

PS – Don’t forget to contact us with books you’ve read with your son or daughter they’ve liked.

He survived the accident, but all the doctors thought he would lose his right leg and be crippled for life.

Yet after only 3 weeks in the hospital, and less than 2 months after his accident, Trevor walked into his doctor’s office on his own in a walker.

And less than 2 months later, he was walking unassisted, completely whole, and WITHOUT EVEN A LIMP! Graphic photos taken of Trevor’s legs after the accident demonstrate how remarkable this healing was.

Trevor’s Song is the amazing story of fatherly love, childlike faith, and a remarkable testimony of physical healing. It’s the story of a little boy who defied everyone’s expectations; a little boy who lived when he should have died and who walked again when he should have been crippled.

It’s also the story of an earthly father who refused to give up.

Most of all, it’s the story of a heavenly Father who hears and answers prayer; who comforted a distraught earthly father with the words, “Trevor is My son too, and I’m going to take good care of him.”

Pictures of Trevor Beam and his family - Warning: Very Graphic Pictures of Trevor’s Legs are Below

Beam Family

Trevor Beam

Harvest Wagon

Trevor Playing Football After Healing

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WARNING: GRAPHIC PHOTOS BELOW OF TREVOR’S LEG INJURY

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CAUTION: THESE ARE VERY GRAPHIC

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Trevor’s Song: The Miraculous True Story of God’s Healing Power After a Tragic Farm Accident

On Sale Now at

As my children curiously watched me grab one dry-erase marker after another, I drew a picture of my brain in the middle with lots of bubble-captions all around it. Each bubble consisted of something that is currently weighing on my mind.

And I ran out of space on the white board trying to list everything!

My goal was to show my wife and children all the things and “projects” that consume much of my thoughts so they would know why I often feel overwhelmed and “focused” much of the time.

This morning I told my wife I was transferring all these “thoughts” into a text file on my computer.

That’s when she dropped a bomb on me. A huge bomb.

She said… “Make sure you include your children on your list.”

Ka-BOOM! Whoa! I had not even so much as written their names on the white board!

And yet, outside of my faith and my wife, they are the highest priorities in my life. Or are they?

Why did I not start at the top of the white board by listing my wife and children first??? Probably because I take them for granted too much of the time. Truth be told, it is more like MOST of the time.

This was a convicting reminder, once again, that I have to be continually INTENTIONAL — even VIGILANT — about communicating to each person in my family how important they are to me.

And not just with my words, but also with my time, my schedule, my actions.

That means some of the things on my white board won’t get done. At least not as soon as I want them to. But that’s part of being a family dad. We know the importance of prioritizing our family, and we are willing to “cheat” other things in our life so that our wife and children get more of our time and attention when they need it.

So… What’s on your white board?

Time for me to go make some modifications to mine.

From one family dad to another,
Joey Watkins
Host of FamilyDads.com

Our Family Whiteboard

Did you hear these words from your dad when you were growing up? If your dad is still alive, do you hear them from him now as an adult?

If you have a son, do you say these words to him? Very often?

Do you ever proclaim these words publicly about your son where both he and other men hear you?

“I love you son. I’m proud of you.”

In the New Testament of the Bible, there are only 3 recorded instances where God audibly spoke from heaven. Did you know that 2 of these 3 instances are God the Father communicating this very message to His Son Jesus?

At Jesus’ baptism, a voice from heaven spoke audibly to those who were present saying, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17, Mark 1:11, Luke 3:22)

At the mount of transfiguration, God again spoke, this time from a cloud, saying “This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. Hear him.” (Matthew 17:5, Mark 9:7, Luke 9:35, 2 Peter 1:17-18)

These are incredibly powerful and affirming words that boys and men of all ages long to hear — need to hear — from their father. It was important for God the Father to communicate this on more than one occasion audibly to His Son Jesus and those who were present. It was important for Jesus to hear these words audibly from His Father.

Likewise, it is important that we fathers speak these words audibly to our sons.

“I love you son. I’m proud of you.”

Trace Adkins recorded the song “You’re Gonna Miss This” that spent a lot of time at #1 on the charts for good reason.

Maybe you’ve heard it?

It’s a message reminding us parents how quickly our children grow up, and how soon we’re going to miss them and all those moments when they were young.

My wife and I both got blurry eyes the first time we heard this song.

The lyrics to the chorus are:

You’re gonna miss this.

You’re gonna want this back.

You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast.

These are some good times,

So take a good look around.

You may not know it now,

but you’re gonna miss this.

Below is official music video with Trace Adkins. It’s a great song to listen to again and again — like on one of those days when being a parent isn’t, shall we say, so much fun.

This video is embedded from YouTube. If you are unable to view it, click here.

Sensing an opportunity to spend some quality one-on-one time with him, I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk with me to see the moon and stars.

Bundling up in our coats and gloves, we ventured out into the cold, crisp night air with no agenda other than just to chat, walk, and take in the night sky together — which he loved.

As we walked, my son would talk about something and then ask “Right Dad?” to which I casually answered “uh-huh” not really considering his questions carefully. After this went on 3 or 4 times, it occurred to me that I might be saying “right” to something that may not have been right.

So I began listening to him more carefully.

The “Right Dad?” question must have come up at least ten more times during our walk. I wasn’t counting, but I began to notice that my son’s “Right Dad?” questions were really not so much about whether he was right or not about a certain thing, but more importantly…

He was wanting AFFIRMATION, VALIDATION, and ACCEPTANCE from the most powerful man in his life… his dad.

Basically, he was looking for my approval of him — that he was “valid” or “approved” or “accepted” by me.

In his booklet You Have What It Takes, best-selling author John Eldredge says every boy is asking the same basic question in his heart: Do I have what it takes? He wants to prove himself to his dad. He wants to impress him. He wants to be loved and accepted by his father. He is looking to his father for gender identity.

This is how God designed it. For us dads to bestow this upon our sons. No one on earth is more powerful in our sons lives than we are as their dads.

It’s something I need to be reminded of regularly. And maybe this little story will help remind you too… Right Dad?

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

P.S. – It’s almost too late to get a Christmas Cross Light for your front yard or a To Bethlehem board game for your family to have fun together during the holidays. Also, we’ve listed some of our best-selling Christmas gift items that are on sale right now at DadResources.com.

One son was divorced. The other son was getting ready to file for a divorce.

The parents had never liked their son’s wife and had tried everything they could to split the marriage and find him another wife.

The sons and the father had a broken relationship. It was so bad, if either son even saw him in a store, they walked down another aisle to avoid him.

There was much bitterness and hatred.

Yet this was a father who was very involved in church, even in prominent leadership roles.

The father attended an event where he heard about God’s promise and provision to fathers, God’s blueprint for the family, and the Biblical role of the father.

God turned the heart of this father in a very significant way… toward his sons, toward his family.

He was so convicted about his failure as a father, he asked himself…

“Is it too late? I’ve already done my child rearing. My children are adults now.”

He wrote 12 letters to his sons. Letters of repentance…

“Would you please forgive me for not being the father to you I should have been?”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to do anything with you?”

“I didn’t know how to call you out as sons?”

“I want to minister to you now.”

“I want to be the father to you that God intended me to be.”

As the father did that, and his heart was turned toward his children, God turned the hearts of his children to him.

The first son turned his heart to God for the first time, came to his father, and began to confess to him things he had done wrong.

The 2nd son, on the very day of filing divorce papers, after listening to the teachings from the event the father attended, was so convicted that he confessed his own sins and turned his heart to seek God.

His wife said when he walked in the door, she immediately knew something had changed his life. She said “I want that” and came with him to his parents for counseling! The parents confessed to the daughter-in-law how they had not loved her and all the things they done against her.

The dad sent the teaching messages to his daughter. Her husband listened.

The daughter said it completely changed his heart and turned his heart toward his family.

God healed this family!

It is a testimony of God’s promise to broken families:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD; And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers…” ~Malachi 4:5-6

God keeps His word.  He  will turn the hearts of a family back to the fathers when the heart of the father is turned to the children.

Norm Wakefield will be sharing this teaching at the Dad Summit, the first-of-its-kind LIVE webinar event for dads. It starts this Sunday night at 9pm Eastern. There is still time to save $15 on Advance Registration.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com