Steve worked as a a graphic designer/art director for the past 15 years at a top notch firm in Seattle. He was blessed to work in a field that he enjoys and that always presented new challenges, working with tiny start-ups all the way to bigger national clients, doing projects like logos, posters, web sites, packaging, advertising, merchandising and even some video.

But there was a problem.

Steve’s job was VERY demanding, and he was tied to an office away from his family most of the week. His wife was feeling very isolated from her husband, raising the kids and running the home without his input or leadership much of the time. And their marriage wasn’t doing so well either.

Steve and I emailed back and forth about this.

After much prayer and discussion with his wife, Steve took a very courageous step. He gave notice to his employer that he would be leaving his very secure, well-paying job. This happened last year in 2010 by the way… not the rosiest of times in our economy.

I reconnected with Steve recently and asked him how things were going with his work, and more importantly his family.

Steve spent a short time freelancing after leaving his job. Then, an old client asked him to take a position at their company that is a leader in their industry.

Today Steve drives to an office very close to his home, is able to eat lunch with his family every day, enjoys 3-day weekends, and has much less work-related stress.

His marriage and his family are doing much better too. In Steve’s words, “God has really provided for our family in a way that I hadn’t anticipated. My connection with my wife has been better than it ever has in our 16 years of marriage. Wished I had acted sooner.”

That’s what keeps many of us dads from stepping up for our family. Fear of lack of provision. But Scripture tells us…

“Trust in YHUH with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all Your Ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” -Prov 3:5-6

We must trust our Heavenly Father for our provision — not our work. He will make our paths straight as we trust Him with all our hearts. That doesn’t mean we just quit a job we don’t like, but that we are led by Him and trust Him, rather than the false security of money.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey, a fellow Family Dad

PS – Last day today to save over 50% on the best coaching program I know for dads who want weekly training by a fellow dad who is highly skilled in many proven strategies for leveraging your time, working smarter, and generating more income. I am personally enrolled in this program and highly recommend it. Details

Tommy grew up in middle Tennessee, went to college where he played football, married his high school sweetheart, and landed a nice corporate job with FedEx.

It occurred to Tommy one day that he was spending more time with those gathered around the conference room table at the office than with those gathered around his kitchen table — his family.

The Heavenly Father began to put in Tommy a yearning to be together with his family. He ended up leaving his corporate job, picking up his family, and moving two hours away from the big city to basically start over again — only this time with different priorities.

Today, Tommy and his family share a deep, united love for one another. They are involved in a remarkable work half way around the world in a fragile, unstable part of Israel serving independent farmers — something Tommy would have never been able to do with his corporate job.

His journey has been indescribably rewarding for both Tommy and his family. In Tommy’s own words… “As I look back, the sacrifice was minimal compared to what I’ve gained… what we’ve all gained.”

Now, my point in telling you Tommy’s story is not to try and convince you to do what Tommy did with his family (unless you are led to!), but rather to encourage you with a story of how one dad’s heart turned to his family, and the direction and calling a family can receive as a result of courageously and obediently stepping out from cultural norms and putting family above work and career.

If you struggle balancing work and family, and work tends to get the bulk of your time each week, let me encourage you to make this struggle a serious matter of prayer and contemplation.

As the Heavenly Father draws your heart to your family, let Him guide you in making the decisions and choices that will be best for your family, even if that means making financial adjustments.

Get wise counsel, walk by faith, and remember that our window of time to raise our children is short and swift. And we dads have a high “Kingdom Calling” to lead our families, disciple our children, and who knows what work our family may be called to?!

PS – Tommy’s story has been turned into a DVD documentary called A Journey Home that has won several awards and inspiried many other dads and their families.

Tommy and Sherry were typical American parents. He was a manager at FedEx and she was a soccer mom raising two boys. But when the pressures of work began to affect their family, they chose to make significant changes to their lives to prioritize their family.  A Journey Home is the remarkable true story of divine intervention and a decision to choose family over work and career.

Watch the Trailer and Learn More

As my children curiously watched me grab one dry-erase marker after another, I drew a picture of my brain in the middle with lots of bubble-captions all around it. Each bubble consisted of something that is currently weighing on my mind.

And I ran out of space on the white board trying to list everything!

My goal was to show my wife and children all the things and “projects” that consume much of my thoughts so they would know why I often feel overwhelmed and “focused” much of the time.

This morning I told my wife I was transferring all these “thoughts” into a text file on my computer.

That’s when she dropped a bomb on me. A huge bomb.

She said… “Make sure you include your children on your list.”

Ka-BOOM! Whoa! I had not even so much as written their names on the white board!

And yet, outside of my faith and my wife, they are the highest priorities in my life. Or are they?

Why did I not start at the top of the white board by listing my wife and children first??? Probably because I take them for granted too much of the time. Truth be told, it is more like MOST of the time.

This was a convicting reminder, once again, that I have to be continually INTENTIONAL — even VIGILANT — about communicating to each person in my family how important they are to me.

And not just with my words, but also with my time, my schedule, my actions.

That means some of the things on my white board won’t get done. At least not as soon as I want them to. But that’s part of being a family dad. We know the importance of prioritizing our family, and we are willing to “cheat” other things in our life so that our wife and children get more of our time and attention when they need it.

So… What’s on your white board?

Time for me to go make some modifications to mine.

From one family dad to another,
Joey Watkins
Host of FamilyDads.com

Our Family Whiteboard

And being a super busy dad is one of the gravest dangers to our families.

Something about being super busy, especially with our work, makes us feel productive, successful, a sense of accomplishment, purposeful.

To us, that is.

But not in the eyes of our children.

On more than one occassion, I am sad to admit that I have heard my oldest son scolding his younger sister or brother for interrupting when I’m busy working at my desk.

“Dad’s busy. Leave him alone.”

Oh how those words have cut to my heart like a knife. If there is one thing I don’t want my children to have memories of their father is that he was too busy for them.

If we are too busy with work to spend loads of time with our wife and children every week, then we are too busy — no excuses.

And the fallout down the road will be painful. Our spouse and children will look to other people or other things to fill the void that a husband and father’s love was meant for.

You are the only person on this earth that can meet that deep need your wife and children have. The need for their husband/father’s love expressed through his time with them.

Like a broken record, I will repeat it again…

We must show our love to our family by the time we personally spend interacting with each of them. Each week.

So from one super busy dad to another, let something go at work until next week. Keep one more thing “not crossed off” on your to-do list.

And go spend some more time with your wife and children.

You won’t regret it.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Host of FamilyDads.com

P.S. – Having to practice what I preach, I spent several hours yesterday afternoon in the large field behind our house picking wild mushrooms the size of potatoes and having a “war” throwing them long distances at my children. Each time one hit the ground, my kids burst out laughing at the explosion it made. We followed that up with throwing a frisbee together for quite a while. They loved our time together, and so did this dad!

P.P.S. – What did you think about the US mid-term election results? Will we see more pro-family legislation in the months ahead?  Post your comments at our FamilyDads Facebook page.

It is so easy to do. Especially if this was modeled to us by our own father.

As men, we have a tendency to connect our identity with such things as our income, our career, our financial status, and our material possessions.

And so we work… and work… and work.

I once had a high-stress, high-responsibility job where my ongoing intention was to “make it up to my family” by spending time with them at night, on the weekends, and on vacations.

But I was often exhausted from long days at the office with its accompanying pressures and stress.

The result was that my family really didn’t get much of their dad — even when he was physically present.

Either I had to make changes, or else I would lose my family.

Children who don’t get time with their dad inevitably look to other people and ways to find meaning, identity, love, and validation. And slowly but surely, their hearts turn away from their dad — one day at a time.

The same is true for our wives.

This is a reality some dads never discover, or else not before significant relational damage is done.

Ultimately we have to ask ourselves: Which is more important, my work or my family?

Let me encourage you to always be very conscious of this temptation of providing FOR your family at the expense of time WITH them. You are irreplaceable to your family. They love you and need you — every day.

Remember — it is the little, daily choices we make that will make the difference.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Practical Ways To Disciple Your Children
Parents are called and uniquely designed to disciple their children — not outsource this responsibility and priviledge to local churches or youth groups. Do you know the specific discipleship process Jesus used and how to apply it to your children? Learn More about Disciple Like Jesus For Parents

A dad recently asked for my input on a very big decision he is considering — a career change from being employed to self-employment at home so he can give more time to his family.

Since this is something I have done — more than once — I shared with him from my experiences and thoughts on making big decisions. My response doesn’t cover everything on this topic, but here is what I said…

Regarding transitioning to working at home, I commend you highly on that decision. The benefit of having the flexibility with your time by working at home is extremely rewarding, much more-so than making more money working for someone else at the expense of time away from your family.

Having said that, I can also tell you it can be very challenging. Among other things, you must be very disciplined to focus on your work, and you do face risk of lapses in income.

First and foremost, you must be led by God’s spirit. Listen to His still, small voice and the impressions He speaks to your heart. Pay attention as you read the Bible and as you listen to other believers (not just Bible teachers but ALL believers who are walking with God.)

Second is unity with your wife. You must both be very confident and united in God’s direction. As the leader, you must take the action steps, but you should desire and esteem her input very highly.

God has confirmed His will for my wife and I on many occasions by speaking the same thing to us separately. It is amazing and very confirming when we come together and discover He has been telling us each the same thing. When this does not happen, I tend to not make a decision but continue to seek Him, listen to what He is saying to me, wait on His timing, and confirmation.

Third, God sometimes stirs in our hearts a longing/desire for the direction He wants us to go. For me, he put a heavy burden on my heart for dads to discover and embrace their influence and leadership as dads in their families.

In what way do you desire to help other people? What problem do you want to solve? What can you see yourself doing day in and day out? Once you have identified this, begin to discern God’s specific leading in relation to it.

A brochure I once picked up said this on the cover… “If you followed your heart, where would you go?” This question was so profound yet simple to me, I still keep that brochure in my laptop bag to this day as a reminder to continue to ask myself that question when facing important decisions.

Obviously, our hearts can deceive us if our desires are impure, but scripture tells us God shows Himself strong on behalf of those who are wholehearted toward Him. (Read the story surrounding 2 Chronicles 16:9.)

Fourth, be attentive to your circumstances and notice any repetition. When I was seeking God on moving, He identified a particular city and then one time after another brought up the name of that city through numerous random circumstances. Circumstances by themselves aren’t everything, but I have found them to be very important when seeking direction from God on a matter.

FInally, let me leave you with a quote that riveted me the first time I read it… “God responds to our faith, not our needs.” Jesus was frustrated, disappointed, and even limited in what He could do on numerous occasions when he encountered lack of faith.

Be a man of faith, which means simply “relying on God.” Don’t be presumptuous and foolish in your actions, but wait on God and step out in faith and obedience as He leads you. Do not merely make decisions based on logic and reason.

I recently had to make a very important decision that did not make sense from a financial standpoint, but I felt very strongly that God told me the time to make the decision was now and not wait for everything to fall into place financially first. My wife was in full support of this decision. So I took the step of faith and “stepped out into the water” BEFORE it parted, so to speak!

Here’s the bottomline…

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

I hope this helps you with decisions you may be facing in your life and on behalf of your family. You might want to bookmark this post for future reference, and also forward it to other dads you may know who need encouragement in making decisions.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

Caught Between A Dream and a Job offers very practical help for transitioning from a job you don’t enjoy to pursuing your dreams. This book helps you identify your ultimate purpose and helps you transition startegically from where you are to where you really want to be. Watch a video interview with the author and Learn More and Order.

So imagine this scenario at your place of work. It’s Friday afternoon and your supervisor steps into your office with a seemingly casual question…

“Can you come into the conference room for a brief meeting?”

You finish your email, save the document, or complete whatever task you are right in the middle of, and then make your way down the hall to the company conference room. In the past, you’ve participated in many staff meetings, strategy planning sessions, and even birthday parties in this conference room, but none like today’s meeting.
“As you know, our company’s revenue has gone way down in recent months, and we’ve had to evaluate ways to significantly cut costs. Effective immediately, your position is being eliminated.”

And with that, you find yourself out of a job — without any advance notice and through no fault of your own. What makes this especially painful is the fact that you have given five years of faithful service to your company, many of those weeks spent working well over 40 hours.

When God closes a door in our lives — especially a major one like our work — the natural tendency is to panic and to project negative “what if” scenarios about our future. If we haven’t been in close relationship with God and regularly hearing from Him, we can be be easily overcome by feelings of fear, rejection, and even anger.

The song lyrics of “Look For A Window” give encouragement and advice to the person facing this very scenario:

Hot on the trail of God’s will
And getting warmer still
Stopped by the slam of a door
God, what’d You do that for?

When God closes a door, look for a window
Don’t stand at the door, there might be a window

Responsibilities change
And so do our pathways
One way God shows which way to go
Is to let the old road close

There’s no point in getting down on yourself
God is only pointing you somewhere else

In challenging times like this, a wise dad will go to God with this attitude in his heart and prayers…
“God, this did not take you by surprise. You knew this was going to happen, and You knew when it would happen. I am so grateful that you take care of me and my family. Help me guard my heart and my thoughts as I seek to know what you are doing in my life and what the next step is for me to take. You know our financial needs, and You are the source of provision for my family. So help me remain full of faith in You during this time, waiting on You, listening for Your promptings, and obedient to whatever You tell me. And thank You for your faithfulness to me during the past five years that I worked at this company.”

As I consider my closing thoughts on this topic, my six-year-old son, totally unaware of what I am writing about, just blurted out in the other room…

“Do you know what song I have in my head right now?”

He then proceeded to sing a kid’s song version of Matthew 6:34 which says, “Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will look after itself.”

I suspect that verse is directly for someone who will read this. Out of the mouth of babes!

If you’re in the midst of job transition, stay encouraged, and continue to…

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

PS – This would be a good post to forward along to another dad you may know who is in the midst of job transition. Also, take him out for lunch or breakfast and spend some time with him talking and praying together. He would probably appreciate your friendship, kindness, and prayer support right now.

Do you know the five Biblical uses of money, the spiritual power behind money, the symptoms to guage where you are spiritually with your finances, and the two different economic systems in the world? Learn More

So I wanted to let you know that from day one,  the service used by FamilyDads to send out weekly email newsletters has been Aweber Communications. If you also need to send out a series of emails automatically, weekly or monthly email Newsletters, or you have a list of subscribers that you regularly contact via email, FamilyDads recommends the Aweber email list service.

Aweber rates are very affordable, their service is extremely reliable (emails almost always go out right away — even to large lists), and we have found their delivery rate (getting past spam filters and into your subscribers’ inboxes) is exceptionally high. The Aweber system is also scalable, which means that as your list grows over time, you will not need to look for a more robust platform. Aweber can handle even very large lists as they are among the industry leaders in high volume bulk emailing with 11+ years of experience and a knowledgeable and competent, tech-savvy staff.

Aweber features include website signup forms (such as the one used on the FamilyDads homepage), professional email templates, follow up autoresponders, email web analytics, and many more features that are explained in more detail on their website. You can signup for a free test drive of Aweber to see exactly how their system works. If you’re looking for a bulk emailing solution or a way to capture the contact info of people who visit your website or blog, give Aweber a try today, you won’t be disappointed.

His story makes a very strong case about our priorities…

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We all know how the economy is going nowadays, and probably most of us, if not all, are concerned about the near future, our jobs, and praying hard about it.

Yesterday at church I saw a good buddy of mine, and he was not looking good. So I took him aside and asked him what was going on. (We are accountability partners, and we often go straight to the point, no “how are you ?” between us.)

He told me that at his workplace “pink slips” were flying all around him, personnel reduction was the “word of the month,” and he was very worried about his job.

He works in IT and was studying madly to get a very hard IT certification to make his position harder to get rid of.

I understood, since I share his same concern, and I am in the ’same boat’ so to speak.

That made me think, and I told him the story I want to share with you all, that happened in my workplace last week.

Last Monday, as soon as we got to the office, we were told that one of the oldest executive managers in the company, “James” had passed on the night before, in his bed.

James was the General Manager of our most lucrative sales market, he had been the company VP and CFO
in different times, and was one of the oldest employees of the company.

The guy was working 12-14 hours a day, taking very little care of himself, and work was his life.

You all see where this is going, right?

A few days after the funeral, I was in the car with our VP, going to Dallas, for business. In the car we started to talk almost immediately about James and what had happened.

After a few casual comments of sorrow about his death, the VP made a comment that gave me the chills …

She said “You know, James “passing away” is going to save the company a lot of money, his salary was quite good, and all in all, we were considering “letting him go” anyway, for we still have to cut salaries and personnel…”

My heart sunk, for I realized how little “James” the man, the individual, had mattered to the company.

Technically, the comment was right.

Under the moral and “human” perspective, it was chilling.

Today, a week after the event, “James” is nearly forgotten.

Gone, merely a faint memory. His position will not be replaced, the company will save money, and that is the end of a 17 years old career.

Guys, put your time, heart and effort in your family and in God.

I still remember the stories my grandfather used to tell me, and he passed away 25 years ago.

My children still laugh and cherish the stories I tell them about my mother’s grandfather…

It’s just money, folks… rust and moths.

What really matters is in the hearts of people you live with, share laughs, experience life and faith with.

You (we all) are not what your job says.

We are fathers, husbands, a brother, a friend, a son of a wonderful God.

Your company will erase the memory of you in a few days, if you drop dead tomorrow.

Your family will remember you forever — put your sweat and effort where it will bear good fruits.

Sorry for the story, it’s probably depressing, but I felt the urgent need to vent…

God Bless you all, brothers.

TexasDad

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I pray this story has been a clear reminder to all of us dads of what and who to truly prioritize in 2009.

Blessings to you and your family in this new year,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

PS – The best resource I’ve found on helping dads make and keep the right priorities is–
http://www.dadresources.com/product.asp?itemid=15