3 thoughts quickly filled my mind.

30 years from now, my dad will be gone.

I will be at the same stage of life my dad is now.

And my oldest son will be my age — likely with a family of his own.

It begged several questions in my mind:

“What will it be like not having my dad around?”

“When I am his age looking back, will I be pleased with how my life turned out?”

“What am I doing to prepare my sons for their journey ahead as men, husbands, and fathers?”

Sure, they’re just kids now. And 30 years is a long time — or is it?

I believe it’s very healthy to contemplate the future. As leaders of our families, we dads must have vision. We must have plans to turn our vision into reality. And we must have perseverance and discipline to be consistent and proactive in leading our families.

Here’s an example to illustrate this.

One of my highest priorities for my children is that they have a strong knowledge and love of Scripture when they are adults. That’s part of my vision for them.

So we read Scripture together. As a family. Often. Each of our children (who are old enough to read) has their own copy of Scripture. We have “Scripture Reading Time” several times a week (my goal is daily.) We all sit together in our family room in a circle or around our dining room table. I start and we go around the room taking turns reading. I give commentary and we discuss what we read along the way. It’s a great way for them to build communication skills, but more importantly to discuss and absorb Scripture from their father. From their father – the one who was divinely given the greatest influence in their lives.

We’re also working on memorizing Scriptures together as a family, learning to hide it in our hearts (Psalm 119:11) and meditate upon it (Psalm 1:2).

This is just one example of how vision becomes reality, and I’d love to hear what visions you have for your family and what you are doing to see them come to pass. So please post your comments below, and let’s learn from one another.

And always remember…

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow let us go into this city and spend a year there, trade and make a profit.’ Whereas you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? You are like a thin mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” -YA’acob 4:13-14 (called James in modern Bibles)

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
A fellow Family Dad

At about 5 feet off the ground at its highest point, this “rainbow tree” as we’ve named it makes a perfect athletic challenge for my kids who love to climb on it.

My eight-year-old son made his way to the highest part of the sideways trunk and proudly asked me…. “Dad, is this dangerous?”

Without hesitation, I *almost* replied… “No, not really. It’s not that high.”

But then, I had a slight impression to mentally probe a little deeper into the motive behind his question. What was he really asking me?

“Dad, am **I** dangerous?” “Dad, do I have what it takes to be a man?” “Dad, as my father, as the man I most look up to, respect, and admire at this stage of my life, do you affirm me?”

Before me was an opportunity to either casually ignore my son’s inquisition about his growth toward manhood, or to build him up in it.

“Yes, son. That IS dangerous. Be careful!” came out of my mouth instead.

And so, with a smile back at me, my son continued to conquer the sideways rainbow tree, beaming at the thought of how “dangerous” he was. In a good way.

Application for me as a dad: Always consider my words when interacting with my children. Never be flippant in my responses to them. Sometimes, probably more often than not, there is more “below the surface” to their questions. When giving answers, look for ways to affirm, validate, and communicate to my children that I love them deeply and respect them as individuals.

For daughters, the questions may come out more like… “Am I pretty?” “Can you spend time with me?” “Can we do something together?” For she is looking for affirmation from her father of both her outward AND inward beauty. And she wants to know that you treasure her and desire to pursue relationship with her.

And remember… this applies to our children at any age.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – One of the most impactful interviews I’ve ever heard on this topic of validating our sons and daughters as their fathers was this video interview with John Eldredge. It’s a MUST-WATCH!

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When I was younger, I really had no interest in history. I just thought it was boring and irrelevant to modern times. But as a man and a dad now, I find it interesting to learn about the journeys and times of those who lived in earlier eras.

I recently heard that in ancient Hebrew culture, the past and the future were “flipped.” They saw the past as “what is before us, what we can see” and the future as “what is behind us, what we don’t know and cannot see.” Pretty interesting perspective when you consider how this might have affected them as family units, as a people, and in their decision-making.

I know a pastor who visits his local cemetary just to reflect, pray, and read the gravestones. He says it really helps give perspective on how short and temporary life is in light of eternity.

A fellow dad has mentioned numerous times of the impact on him from meeting regularly with an old guy once a week for breakfast… just to gain the wisdom and perspective of this older man.

“You do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? You are like a thin mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” — James 4:14

Do you find yourself dwelling upon the future and projecting what it may hold for you? Or do you take advantage of opportunities to absorb history, knowledge of past generations — the lives, the experiences, the wisdom of those who have gone before us?

It helps bring perspective on life. And on fatherhood.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

I was invited to a pre-screening earlier this summer, and I can tell you it was a very emotionally “moving” experience for me to watch this movie.

Go see this movie. Seriously.

Take your wife, or go with a buddy or two. (But I don’t recommend bringing your children. With a law enforcement storyline, it includes violence and themes inappropriate for them.)

Without giving too much of the storyline away, the movie is about the lives of five dads, four of whom work together as police officers. Each dad comes from a different background and upbringing, which impacts their roles as fathers and how they handle issues of faith and family in the movie.

The movie is very fast-paced, full of action, and “what’s-gonna-happen-next?” moments.

You can watch the opening scene and trailer here–
http://www.courageousthemovie.com

To find a theater showing Courageous near you, go to http://www.courageousthemovie.com/theaterlist

Mark your calender. September 30. Go see this movie.

And let me know how it impacts you.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – I’d like to send you a resource called Courageous Living which includes inspiring quotes from the movie and excellent devotional messages for men on faith and family. We will mail it to you (in the US or Canada) with a donation of any amount to FamilyDads during the month of September.

PPS – Please contact FamilyDads if you recently signed up through the FamilyDads link for the training group I recommend called Inner Circle with Ryan Lee. I’d really like to help you implement this training and develop more time for your family.

In our family, it’s usually right when we’re ready to read Scripture, or about to head out the door to go somewhere when we hear our 2-year-old rather confidently proclaim, “I did pooh-pooh!”

Changing diapers is one of those really “practical” ways I try to help my wife. But I’ll confess, I do find it challenging to hold my tongue day after day and not gripe about this rather unpleasant task.

Sooner than I know, my 2-year-old son will be 6 years old and then 13 years old. And then he’ll be a dad himself one day.

Rather than grumble our way through those messy diapers and smelly wipes, we need to keep perspective by remembering that this too is part of life, it shall pass, and enjoy our kids while they are still young.

On the lighter side, if you have either already been through, or currently are in this stage of fatherhood, here is a video tribute for dads on the joys of changing diapers that is sure to bring a chuckle to you today–
http://familydads.com/blog/dads-changing-diapers/

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – If you signed up for Inner Circle, please contact us and let us know so we can notify you of our prayer support calls and also we want to send you our takeway notes from the weekly webinars. This week’s topic is on easy ways to get an ordinary blog to the top of Google – no matter how competitive the market is.

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Steve worked as a a graphic designer/art director for the past 15 years at a top notch firm in Seattle. He was blessed to work in a field that he enjoys and that always presented new challenges, working with tiny start-ups all the way to bigger national clients, doing projects like logos, posters, web sites, packaging, advertising, merchandising and even some video.

But there was a problem.

Steve’s job was VERY demanding, and he was tied to an office away from his family most of the week. His wife was feeling very isolated from her husband, raising the kids and running the home without his input or leadership much of the time. And their marriage wasn’t doing so well either.

Steve and I emailed back and forth about this.

After much prayer and discussion with his wife, Steve took a very courageous step. He gave notice to his employer that he would be leaving his very secure, well-paying job. This happened last year in 2010 by the way… not the rosiest of times in our economy.

I reconnected with Steve recently and asked him how things were going with his work, and more importantly his family.

Steve spent a short time freelancing after leaving his job. Then, an old client asked him to take a position at their company that is a leader in their industry.

Today Steve drives to an office very close to his home, is able to eat lunch with his family every day, enjoys 3-day weekends, and has much less work-related stress.

His marriage and his family are doing much better too. In Steve’s words, “God has really provided for our family in a way that I hadn’t anticipated. My connection with my wife has been better than it ever has in our 16 years of marriage. Wished I had acted sooner.”

That’s what keeps many of us dads from stepping up for our family. Fear of lack of provision. But Scripture tells us…

“Trust in YHUH with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all Your Ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” -Prov 3:5-6

We must trust our Heavenly Father for our provision — not our work. He will make our paths straight as we trust Him with all our hearts. That doesn’t mean we just quit a job we don’t like, but that we are led by Him and trust Him, rather than the false security of money.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey, a fellow Family Dad

PS – Last day today to save over 50% on the best coaching program I know for dads who want weekly training by a fellow dad who is highly skilled in many proven strategies for leveraging your time, working smarter, and generating more income. I am personally enrolled in this program and highly recommend it. Details

So if you are in either of these scenarios, or if you just want to learn practical business strategies and productivity skills from a highly experienced and successful business coach, I want to introduce you to a fellow dad I’ve subscribed to for a while who can help you. His name is Ryan Lee. He lives in Connecticut with his wife Janet and 4 young children.

Ryan is also a best-selling author, speaker, coach, and owner of a very financially successful business that generates 7 figures each month.

Yet Ryan runs most of his business from a local coffee shop with nothing more than a laptop, notebook, and pen to do a few hours of work each day and enjoys lots of time with his family.

Ryan has been featured on the cover of the Wall Street Journal and dozens of other major media outlets.

After college, Ryan worked at a children’s rehab hospital where he helped children with disabilities. He was greatly blessed working with these kids who touched his heart and taught him many valuable “life lessons,” and he went on to launch a fitness website that grew into a multi-million dollar business.

Ryan has just launched a new weekly coaching program that I believe can help a lot of dads and their families. I have personally signed up for this myself.

Ryan explains everything in this video here–
http://www.familydads.com/ryanlee.php

Like I said, I’ve not reached out to dads in this way until now, but I want to do more to help dads maximize family time, and I know that for many of us, our work is often what prevents us from spending more time with family.

If you signup for Ryan Lee’s Inner Circle new weekly coaching program through this link, contact me and let me know. I plan to host group conference calls with all who are part of this with me and we can help one another. I will also share the notes I take from each session with you. Also, in full disclosure, I receive a commission on signups through the link above (which helps me continue to host FamilyDads) but if that offends you, please don’t signup.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

More often than not, the answer I receive has to do with balancing family and work, stress, patience with their kids, and things like that.

However, one new subscriber recently shared one of his biggest challenges as a dad that I had never heard before. It really got me thinking, and I want to challenge you with it too.

He said one of his biggest challenges as a dad is:

“…not having my Dad around to ask advice, he went to be with the Lord 3 years ago.”

Whoa! That is pretty heavy.

I had several reactions when I read it.

First, I don’t want my sons to be in that position when they become dads one day. I want them to be able to come to me for advice and input when they need it. I want them to draw on my experience, insights, knowledge, and wisdom I’ve gained over the years.

Yes, we all will experience physical death at some point (unless our Messiah returns first!), but I want to be around as long as possible for my family. But unless I take personal responsibility for my health now by my choices in diet, exercise, sleep, and several other fitness factors, I’m not doing my part to make it happen.

Second, I reflected on my relationship with my own father. Do I take him too much for granted? How much longer will he be around? Am I taking advantage of his advice and experience? Is there anything I can do to help or encourage his health and longevity? How is our relationship?

And finally, I wondered about other young men who might be in a similar place without their earthly dad to go to for wisdom and advice as they walk this journey called fatherhood. Can FamilyDads do more to support these men? Are there any subscribers who would be interested in building relationships with fatherless sons like this guy?

Well, that’s a lot to think about. I hope it will do just that… get you thinking… about yourself, about your father, about other fatherless men, and about your own sons when they become dads and will need your advice and experience to draw on!

Feel free to contact FamilyDads with any ideas, suggestions, or input on any of these thoughts.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

P.S. – FamilyDads Fitness is for dads who understand the importance of giving attention NOW to your health and fitness to avoid health problems later that would impact both you and your family. Learn more

Maybe you can relate to that quote by John Lennon. I sure can!

Most dads I know, including myself, are busy making plans… plans for our work, plans for our weekends, plans for our family, plans for our house, our yard, our money, and so on.

But while we’re busy making all these plans… well, life happens.

Diapers need to be changed. Attitudes have to be dealt with. Spouses need to be communicated with. Dishes need to be washed. Bathrooms need to be cleaned. Bills need to be paid. Grass needs to be mowed.

And before we know it, our kids are no longer infants, toddlers, or grade school age. They’re in high school. Or college. And then ready to launch out as young adults on their own life journey.

I was reminded of this once again last weekend when my 2nd oldest son somehow reached his 8th birthday. How did that happen?!? How I wish I could find the “pause” button to keep my children from growing up so fast.

So let me encourage you today, fellow dad, to live in the moment.

“Carpe Diem.” Seize the day.

Take joy in your daily routine. Seriously.

Appreciate where each of your children are right now at their stage of development. And live each day engaged with them.

And engaged with your wife.

It’s time now for me to go spend some time holding my 6-week-old son and enjoying his chubby-cheeks baby smile… because I’ll be celebrating HIS 8th birthday just a few short months from now too!

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey

P.S. – Do you have a son or daughter graduating from high school this month? Make it a very special time and memory of how much you love them and are proud of them. Idea: Write a hand-written heart-to-heart letter to them from Dad. They will keep it for a very long time, perhaps even after you’re gone.

This can quickly begin a cycle of strife and stress that will not be resolved until root issues causing the division are dealt with.

Much marriage division is the result of DI-vision. That is, two visions. My vision is different from my spouse’s vision. I see things from one perspective, and she sees them from another. I place greater importance on certain things, while she places higher importance on others.

I have found that talking things through, thinking aloud together, and trying not to be overly defensive with “my position” can help. I need to share *why* I feel a certain way about a matter, while my wife tries to see things from my perspective. And she needs to share while I listen and try to see things from her perspective.

Even doing this may not resolve differences in one conversation, but then again it might. And it’s worth doing.

We also need to pray and seek Divine guidance in the areas of our division.

There may be fears, insecurities, or other areas of sin that need to be confessed and corrected.

It may help to get together with another couple we both respect and share with them the challenges we are facing in our marriage.

Finally, we husbands are instructed to honor our wives:

“You husbands live with [your wives] according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel…” -I Peter 3:7

If your marriage is challenging right now, is there any way in which you are not honoring your wife? Are you giving her the value that is due her as a woman and as a more fragile vessel?

Blessings on your marriage,
Joey

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