At about 5 feet off the ground at its highest point, this “rainbow tree” as we’ve named it makes a perfect athletic challenge for my kids who love to climb on it.

My eight-year-old son made his way to the highest part of the sideways trunk and proudly asked me…. “Dad, is this dangerous?”

Without hesitation, I *almost* replied… “No, not really. It’s not that high.”

But then, I had a slight impression to mentally probe a little deeper into the motive behind his question. What was he really asking me?

“Dad, am **I** dangerous?” “Dad, do I have what it takes to be a man?” “Dad, as my father, as the man I most look up to, respect, and admire at this stage of my life, do you affirm me?”

Before me was an opportunity to either casually ignore my son’s inquisition about his growth toward manhood, or to build him up in it.

“Yes, son. That IS dangerous. Be careful!” came out of my mouth instead.

And so, with a smile back at me, my son continued to conquer the sideways rainbow tree, beaming at the thought of how “dangerous” he was. In a good way.

Application for me as a dad: Always consider my words when interacting with my children. Never be flippant in my responses to them. Sometimes, probably more often than not, there is more “below the surface” to their questions. When giving answers, look for ways to affirm, validate, and communicate to my children that I love them deeply and respect them as individuals.

For daughters, the questions may come out more like… “Am I pretty?” “Can you spend time with me?” “Can we do something together?” For she is looking for affirmation from her father of both her outward AND inward beauty. And she wants to know that you treasure her and desire to pursue relationship with her.

And remember… this applies to our children at any age.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – One of the most impactful interviews I’ve ever heard on this topic of validating our sons and daughters as their fathers was this video interview with John Eldredge. It’s a MUST-WATCH!

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Maybe you can relate to that quote by John Lennon. I sure can!

Most dads I know, including myself, are busy making plans… plans for our work, plans for our weekends, plans for our family, plans for our house, our yard, our money, and so on.

But while we’re busy making all these plans… well, life happens.

Diapers need to be changed. Attitudes have to be dealt with. Spouses need to be communicated with. Dishes need to be washed. Bathrooms need to be cleaned. Bills need to be paid. Grass needs to be mowed.

And before we know it, our kids are no longer infants, toddlers, or grade school age. They’re in high school. Or college. And then ready to launch out as young adults on their own life journey.

I was reminded of this once again last weekend when my 2nd oldest son somehow reached his 8th birthday. How did that happen?!? How I wish I could find the “pause” button to keep my children from growing up so fast.

So let me encourage you today, fellow dad, to live in the moment.

“Carpe Diem.” Seize the day.

Take joy in your daily routine. Seriously.

Appreciate where each of your children are right now at their stage of development. And live each day engaged with them.

And engaged with your wife.

It’s time now for me to go spend some time holding my 6-week-old son and enjoying his chubby-cheeks baby smile… because I’ll be celebrating HIS 8th birthday just a few short months from now too!

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey

P.S. – Do you have a son or daughter graduating from high school this month? Make it a very special time and memory of how much you love them and are proud of them. Idea: Write a hand-written heart-to-heart letter to them from Dad. They will keep it for a very long time, perhaps even after you’re gone.

This year, things are starting out MUCH better!

I did a lot of research during the off-season and made some BIG changes.

First, we started much earlier (in late February.) We’ve given considerable effort to improving our soil. We’ve found plant varieties that are more heat and drought resistant. We’ve laid down hundreds of feet of weed blocking fabric. And my children are actually enjoying our daily afternoon times working together with dad out in the family garden.

Honestly, I’ve been amazed at their improvement in attitude and willingness to work — even my teenage son!

Gardening can be a fantastic way to spend time together as a family. Not only can you grow much of your own food and cut your monthly expenses way down, but it is a great way to spend time together as a family doing something productive.

To this day, I can still recall my dad’s involvement and the exact location of our family garden when I was just a young boy.

You can also give away some of what you grow to those in need.

If you don’t have a family garden, I encourage you to start one. Together. As a family.

But take my advice — start small… very small. Don’t plant more than three or four things your first year. And do some research online regarding how to prepare the soil.

And if you’re going to do a family garden this spring and haven’t started yet, you’d better hurry. I don’t want you to experience what we did last year.

Happy Gardening!

PS – If you’d like some input on family gardening from a fellow dad who has done a lot of research and has a bit of experience under his belt now, contact me for some helpful gardening tips.

READ with them. ALOUD. Frequently.

ALL of my children enjoy spending time reading aloud together with their Dad. So does my wife.

On an almost daily basis, I read Scripture aloud to my family. We call it “Family Scripture Time.”

For younger children, Scriptures with action and stories work best, like Genesis, Exodus, and Acts, as opposed to more instructional Scriptures like Leviticus, Proverbs, Galatians, etc.

Consistent Scripture reading is one of the best ways to prepare the soil of their hearts for receiving spiritual truth and building their faith.

“So faith comes by hearing, that is by hearing The Word of YHWH proclaimed.” – Romans 10:17

I also like to read one-on-one with my children. My sons have enoyed the books by Bob Schultz. The chapters are short, fun, “guy” stories that always have a great message on character or boyhood, and Q&A at the end so we can talk about what we’ve read.

My daughter and I have read some of the “classics” together… you know, the ones that seem to always involve a little girl, a horse, a dog, or life on a farm.

If you’ve read a book with your son or daughter they’ve really enjoyed, please let me know. We’ll add it to the list of great family reading books. If you become a FamilyDads email subscriber, we can send you the list as it grows over time so you and your family can benefit from other dads’ positive reading experiences with their children.

To summarize, if you aren’t already reading aloud to your family, take the lead and begin doing this.

Read Scripture together as a family as often as possible.

And read family-friendly books one-on-one with your children. Not only will they benefit from the content you read together, but you’ll be modeling to them a habit they can emulate when they too become parents. And even pass on to their children.

From one family dad to another,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

PS – Don’t forget to contact us with books you’ve read with your son or daughter they’ve liked.

For Dads Who Homeschool

For those dads who home school, like our family does, our wives typically do more of the actual subject instruction than we do. One of the things that can help her MOST on a practical level is our involvement in the planning process.

Discussing and planning the subjects each of our children will take this year, choosing the actual curriculum, and the concepts we want them to grasp. And praying together for each of our children’s school year, and for our wives as they teach.

A friend of mine plans a get-away weekend with his wife to go over all these things. It is THAT important to them. I admire his level of being intentional and proactively involved in the education of his children. He takes responsibility for his family. He also teaches several of their subjects… math, Bible, etc.

Why not block out an evening, a full day, or an entire weekend for one-on-one time with your wife to interact on this extremely important topic? What would doing this with your wife, communicate to her in terms of how much you value the education of your children and the primary role she plays in that?!

Also, we need to stay involved on a weekly basis with our wives and not let her shoulder this responsibility alone. Ask her each evening how school went that day, and then LISTEN to her talk… not necessarily to problem-solve… but so she can just “unload” to another adult about her day.

Remember, she is surrounded by children all day and needs time with another adult. It is important that she stay connected with other moms too on a weekly basis whom she can hang out with, trade stories, and encourage one another.

For Dads Whose Kids Attend Public/Private School

If your family doesn’t homeschool, your situation is a bit different. Since other adults will be instructing your children, it is important for you, dad, to be very aware of what they are learning and being exposed to, how they are doing with their homework, what help they need, and for them to know of your support and interest in their schooling.

Read their course syllabus, talk to them about their teacher(s), their classes, their friends, sports, extra-curricular activities, etc., not to come across nosey, but because you care and want to be involved in their world. Help them with the tough subjects and concepts they aren’t grasping — and do it with patience in love!

Resist The BIG Temptation

Regardless of your chosen schooling method, one of the biggest temptations for us dads is to just let the school year go on “auto-pilot” and before we know it, it’s time for Christmas break!

Since we dads are focused on our work and have our own fires to put out every day at the office or jobsite, it is *very* easy to be passive about our children’s school year.

School is a big deal to our children and our wives. Let’s make it a big deal to us dads too! It’s one of the best ways we can show them we LOVE and affirm them.

Here’s a great book for ALL dads to read to help us encourage our wives in practical ways on a regular basis. It’s short. And funny too!

cartoon by Family Dad Todd Wilson

Some dads used the My Wife Journal and took their wife out on a special romantic date. (If you didn’t take advantage of this tool, it’s a great little guide to use on any date with your wife!)

If you were one of these dads, my hat’s off to you!

At our home, we baked “heart cookies” and gave small gifts and personally-written cards to one another over a leisurely Saturday morning breakfast.

That evening, I took my wife out for some one-on-one time, shopping for her, and we sat down over dessert to discuss much-needed vision for our family and our future.

If you did something that was especially meaningful to your wife and/or your children on Valentine’s Day, why not share it with the rest of us and encourage a bunch of other dads?! If you used the My Wife Journal, tell us how it went!

Write up your story and email it to me. If I select yours to share with the FamilyDads list, not only will we all get to read your great story, but you’ll also win a copy of Todd Wilson’s excellent book, Father Power, compliments of DadResources.com. (This book is one of my most favorite of all books for dads to read!)

Also, I just received permission to post an audio online of a message that was recently given regarding this year 2009 that I think will be a tremendous challenge and encouragement to you as it relates to your faith and your finances. I’ll share the link to the audio later this week!

As a 38-year-old grown man now who can still recall these memories, they obviously left meaningful impressions on me. My wife and I do the same thing for our children now, and we hope this tradition will pass down to our next generation.

What we do is go to a local grocery store or shopping center (without our children with us!) and look for small inexpensive items that will express our love to each of them.

Examples of gifts include things like stickers, coloring books, a chocolate bar, or some little trinket from the “Valentine’s Day” aisle in the store. If you have older children, it’s a little bit more challenging, so think about their likes and interests and just be creative.

You can spend as little or as much as you want on each child. It’s not the amount that is important, but rather the thought that counts.

The night before Valentine’s Day, we place the items on the breakfast table at each of their seats with a short love note from us. And we date the note so they can keep it in their “memory shoe box” and look back on it years later.

This simple and inexpensive expression communicates to your children… “Your father and mother love you and want to show it on this special day in this special, fun way!”

It will leave a greater impression on them than you know.

Dad, don’t forget your special woman on Valentine’s Day too! Think flowers and a date! Romance her!

Blessings on your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

FamilyDads is a dad-founded and dad-focused organization committed to helping dads prioritize and lead ther family. Signup for the FamilyDads e-Newsletter at http://www.FamilyDads.com