Family Dads » Daughters

Dad, Is This Dangerous?

FamilyDads — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 12:44:18 +0000

Last week I was with two of my kids at their favorite spot down in our woods which has a tree that blew over and is laying on its side in the shape of a rainbow.

At about 5 feet off the ground at its highest point, this “rainbow tree” as we’ve named it makes a perfect athletic challenge for my kids who love to climb on it.

My eight-year-old son made his way to the highest part of the sideways trunk and proudly asked me…. “Dad, is this dangerous?”

Without hesitation, I *almost* replied… “No, not really. It’s not that high.”

But then, I had a slight impression to mentally probe a little deeper into the motive behind his question. What was he really asking me?

“Dad, am **I** dangerous?” “Dad, do I have what it takes to be a man?” “Dad, as my father, as the man I most look up to, respect, and admire at this stage of my life, do you affirm me?”

Before me was an opportunity to either casually ignore my son’s inquisition about his growth toward manhood, or to build him up in it.

“Yes, son. That IS dangerous. Be careful!” came out of my mouth instead.

And so, with a smile back at me, my son continued to conquer the sideways rainbow tree, beaming at the thought of how “dangerous” he was. In a good way.

Application for me as a dad: Always consider my words when interacting with my children. Never be flippant in my responses to them. Sometimes, probably more often than not, there is more “below the surface” to their questions. When giving answers, look for ways to affirm, validate, and communicate to my children that I love them deeply and respect them as individuals.

For daughters, the questions may come out more like… “Am I pretty?” “Can you spend time with me?” “Can we do something together?” For she is looking for affirmation from her father of both her outward AND inward beauty. And she wants to know that you treasure her and desire to pursue relationship with her.

And remember… this applies to our children at any age.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – One of the most impactful interviews I’ve ever heard on this topic of validating our sons and daughters as their fathers was this video interview with John Eldredge. It’s a MUST-WATCH!

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Jonny Diaz: There Could Never Be A More Beautiful You

FamilyDads — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:41:37 +0000

Every dad with a daughter knows that young girls have a strong desire to feel beautiful (as do their moms too!) . As guys, we don’t fully understand this innate longing in females. But when girls fall for the secular culture’s definition of “beauty” as consisting only of weight, looks, curves, clothing styles, etc., they begin down a path of deception and what the writer of Proverbs calls “vain” (Proverbs 31:30.)

This music video by Johnny Diaz is a creative, light-hearted, and powerful reminder to ladies of all ages that the age-old message “beauty is only skin deep” is indeed a false one. And a reminder to us dads to remember to continually remind our daughters and our wives through our words and actions that “there could never be a more beautiful you”… for true beauty lies within the heart.

In this second video, Jonny Diaz and his producer share about the making of the music video and the message they hope will be communicated by it. Way to go guys!

Mothers Day and Motherhood

FamilyDads — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:01:40 +0000

Mothers Day is this Sunday, May 11th. It is an opportunity for us dads to honor the two most important women in our life: our mother and our wife.

In the English languge, nouns are simply names given to people, places, or things. But in the Hebrew language, nouns are action words.

Interestingly, the Hebrew word for mother is ‘em,’ and it literally means ”the one that binds the family together.” What a great description of a mom.

Sadly, much of today’s culture sends a different message to women about what it means to be a mother and what her priorities should be. Sally Clarkson talks about this in her book, The Mission of Motherhood –

“For thousands of years the view of motherhood described in the Bible was generally respected in Western culture. Motherhood was seen as a noble and important calling. Women considered themselves blessed to bear many children, and it was considered normal and good for home and family to be the central focus of a woman’s life.”

“By the time I became a mother, however, the American culture had dramatically re-defined the role of motherhood, and the Biblical model of motherhood no longer drove the imagination of culture. Somehow, over the course of the last century, traditional motherhood became a lifestyle option – and to many, a lesser option – rather than a divine calling.”

Dad, let us be the ones to re-define culture, starting in our own family. Let us recognize and honor our own mothers this Sunday. And let us also take the opportunity this weekend to affirm and praise our wife in her role, her divine calling, to be the one who binds your family together. By doing so, we will model to our children the true value we place on motherhood. It will show our sons how to value their mom and their future wife. It will show our daughters how to value their mom and their role as a future mother.

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; and her husband also praises her. Comeliness is deceptive and beauty is vain; but a woman who reverences the LORD shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:28,30