This can quickly begin a cycle of strife and stress that will not be resolved until root issues causing the division are dealt with.

Much marriage division is the result of DI-vision. That is, two visions. My vision is different from my spouse’s vision. I see things from one perspective, and she sees them from another. I place greater importance on certain things, while she places higher importance on others.

I have found that talking things through, thinking aloud together, and trying not to be overly defensive with “my position” can help. I need to share *why* I feel a certain way about a matter, while my wife tries to see things from my perspective. And she needs to share while I listen and try to see things from her perspective.

Even doing this may not resolve differences in one conversation, but then again it might. And it’s worth doing.

We also need to pray and seek Divine guidance in the areas of our division.

There may be fears, insecurities, or other areas of sin that need to be confessed and corrected.

It may help to get together with another couple we both respect and share with them the challenges we are facing in our marriage.

Finally, we husbands are instructed to honor our wives:

“You husbands live with [your wives] according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel…” -I Peter 3:7

If your marriage is challenging right now, is there any way in which you are not honoring your wife? Are you giving her the value that is due her as a woman and as a more fragile vessel?

Blessings on your marriage,
Joey

Improve Your Marriage While You Drive – See our Top Recommended Marriage Audiobook

It is so easy to do. Especially if this was modeled to us by our own father.

As men, we have a tendency to connect our identity with such things as our income, our career, our financial status, and our material possessions.

And so we work… and work… and work.

I once had a high-stress, high-responsibility job where my ongoing intention was to “make it up to my family” by spending time with them at night, on the weekends, and on vacations.

But I was often exhausted from long days at the office with its accompanying pressures and stress.

The result was that my family really didn’t get much of their dad — even when he was physically present.

Either I had to make changes, or else I would lose my family.

Children who don’t get time with their dad inevitably look to other people and ways to find meaning, identity, love, and validation. And slowly but surely, their hearts turn away from their dad — one day at a time.

The same is true for our wives.

This is a reality some dads never discover, or else not before significant relational damage is done.

Ultimately we have to ask ourselves: Which is more important, my work or my family?

Let me encourage you to always be very conscious of this temptation of providing FOR your family at the expense of time WITH them. You are irreplaceable to your family. They love you and need you — every day.

Remember — it is the little, daily choices we make that will make the difference.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Practical Ways To Disciple Your Children
Parents are called and uniquely designed to disciple their children — not outsource this responsibility and priviledge to local churches or youth groups. Do you know the specific discipleship process Jesus used and how to apply it to your children? Learn More about Disciple Like Jesus For Parents