NO, not Super Bowl Sunday… the one after that.

Valentines DAY!

Got plans for the big day of romance with your special woman?

I personally don’t like the idea of focusing just one day out of the year on romancing our wives. It should be something we family dads naturally WANT to do on a very regular basis.

But the busy-ness of work, family, and every other demand on our time and energy can sometimes drag us into a “rut” or take the edge off our romantic creativity and planning.

So here are some ideas I came up with to help you express your love to her if you need a little help. But the important thing is to communicate to our wives, in our own unique way, just how important she is to us, how much we love her, and that we enjoy, desire, and cherish her.

1) Go for a leisurely drive in the countryside and just talk and enjoy the scenery together. Pack a picnic lunch or early dinner and look for a spot to share the meal together. (Hint: don’t have her prepare all the food for the picnic.)

2) Send all the kids downstairs to watch a movie, and then go for a long walk, hand-in-hand, with your gal, sharing with each other whatever she would like to talk about.

3) Write love notes to her and put them in all the places she will be that day… the nightstand, the sock drawer, the bathroom mirror, the fridge, her seat in the car (or minivan), and so on.

4) Organize something fun with your kids so that all of you can express your love for mom together. Let your children give input until you come up with something fun and meaningful together.

5) Have an extended time of praying together alone with your wife. Perhaps at the beginning of the day. Pray for your marriage, your children, your finances, your future, other people, and anything else God leads you to pray about. Let this time be unhurried and Spirit-led — not a laundry list to pray through.

6) Read a great marriage book together out loud, or at least several chapters, such as Love & War by John and Stasi Eldredge, Two Fleas and No Dog by Craig Hill, or Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.

7) Forbid your wife to enter the kitchen all day long, and do all the dishes yourself or with your children helping.

If you’re really courageous, take some time to ask her what you can do to make your marriage better and then listen, carefully and undefensively, to what she tells you. Be sensitive not to get into a verbal fight over this! Don’t try to defend yourself but allow this time to be constructive for your marriage.

9) Do the “get-the-kids-to-bed” routine yourself while your wife takes a relaxing bubble bath accompanied by her favorite music.

10) End the night by candlelight and some physical romance. No commentary needed!

Since our wives are incredibly valuable and meaningful to us, let’s take advantage of this opportunity to intentionally and proactively express our deep love for them this Valentines Day.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

Improving Your Marriage

Books don’t transform marriages, but the stories and insights of well-written books on marriage can open up the heart of the reader. And the heart is where change takes place. While there are many excellent marriage resources on the market, I personally recommend several books for us family dads to read. To see which ones they are, check out the marriage category at DadResources.com.

Some dads used the My Wife Journal and took their wife out on a special romantic date. (If you didn’t take advantage of this tool, it’s a great little guide to use on any date with your wife!)

If you were one of these dads, my hat’s off to you!

At our home, we baked “heart cookies” and gave small gifts and personally-written cards to one another over a leisurely Saturday morning breakfast.

That evening, I took my wife out for some one-on-one time, shopping for her, and we sat down over dessert to discuss much-needed vision for our family and our future.

If you did something that was especially meaningful to your wife and/or your children on Valentine’s Day, why not share it with the rest of us and encourage a bunch of other dads?! If you used the My Wife Journal, tell us how it went!

Write up your story and email it to me. If I select yours to share with the FamilyDads list, not only will we all get to read your great story, but you’ll also win a copy of Todd Wilson’s excellent book, Father Power, compliments of DadResources.com. (This book is one of my most favorite of all books for dads to read!)

Also, I just received permission to post an audio online of a message that was recently given regarding this year 2009 that I think will be a tremendous challenge and encouragement to you as it relates to your faith and your finances. I’ll share the link to the audio later this week!

As a 38-year-old grown man now who can still recall these memories, they obviously left meaningful impressions on me. My wife and I do the same thing for our children now, and we hope this tradition will pass down to our next generation.

What we do is go to a local grocery store or shopping center (without our children with us!) and look for small inexpensive items that will express our love to each of them.

Examples of gifts include things like stickers, coloring books, a chocolate bar, or some little trinket from the “Valentine’s Day” aisle in the store. If you have older children, it’s a little bit more challenging, so think about their likes and interests and just be creative.

You can spend as little or as much as you want on each child. It’s not the amount that is important, but rather the thought that counts.

The night before Valentine’s Day, we place the items on the breakfast table at each of their seats with a short love note from us. And we date the note so they can keep it in their “memory shoe box” and look back on it years later.

This simple and inexpensive expression communicates to your children… “Your father and mother love you and want to show it on this special day in this special, fun way!”

It will leave a greater impression on them than you know.

Dad, don’t forget your special woman on Valentine’s Day too! Think flowers and a date! Romance her!

Blessings on your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

FamilyDads is a dad-founded and dad-focused organization committed to helping dads prioritize and lead ther family. Signup for the FamilyDads e-Newsletter at http://www.FamilyDads.com

Hey Fellow Dad,

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that there are times when your marriage isn’t always as great as you’d like it to be.

In my family, we have 3 very active children, a fourth one on the way, a family-run business, and we homeschool. Finding time to spend alone with my wife is a bit challenging.

Yet I know for an absolute fact that the times when I take her out on dates and give her my complete, undivided attention and focus means more to her… and to our marriage… than almost anything else I could do.

I know this because she has told me so… more than once.

All the flowers, chocolate, jewelry, movies, or anything else I “buy” for her don’t even come close to the love she feels from me when I simply give her my time and focused attention. It makes her feel valued and cherished by me.

One of the best dates we’ve ever had was exactly like this. Since Valentine’s Day is coming up,  I asked her to briefly share about it. (The book she mentions is called My Wife Journal, and I highly recommend it no matter what stage of marriage you are at.)

“This is what I can tell you from my heart. I will always remember our date on a cold winter night.

Rather than getting desert at the restaurant and rushing off to see a movie, our going to the quiet, empty eating area of a local supermarket was one of the best dates I’ve ever had with you.

It was so much better than any flowers or anything you personally could have bought me.  With your work at such a hectic pace in your life, it was like you took the time to stop and focus on me.

Blessings on your marriage,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

PS – Don’t forget, Valentine’s Day is February 14th!