Steve worked as a a graphic designer/art director for the past 15 years at a top notch firm in Seattle. He was blessed to work in a field that he enjoys and that always presented new challenges, working with tiny start-ups all the way to bigger national clients, doing projects like logos, posters, web sites, packaging, advertising, merchandising and even some video.

But there was a problem.

Steve’s job was VERY demanding, and he was tied to an office away from his family most of the week. His wife was feeling very isolated from her husband, raising the kids and running the home without his input or leadership much of the time. And their marriage wasn’t doing so well either.

Steve and I emailed back and forth about this.

After much prayer and discussion with his wife, Steve took a very courageous step. He gave notice to his employer that he would be leaving his very secure, well-paying job. This happened last year in 2010 by the way… not the rosiest of times in our economy.

I reconnected with Steve recently and asked him how things were going with his work, and more importantly his family.

Steve spent a short time freelancing after leaving his job. Then, an old client asked him to take a position at their company that is a leader in their industry.

Today Steve drives to an office very close to his home, is able to eat lunch with his family every day, enjoys 3-day weekends, and has much less work-related stress.

His marriage and his family are doing much better too. In Steve’s words, “God has really provided for our family in a way that I hadn’t anticipated. My connection with my wife has been better than it ever has in our 16 years of marriage. Wished I had acted sooner.”

That’s what keeps many of us dads from stepping up for our family. Fear of lack of provision. But Scripture tells us…

“Trust in YHUH with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all Your Ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” -Prov 3:5-6

We must trust our Heavenly Father for our provision — not our work. He will make our paths straight as we trust Him with all our hearts. That doesn’t mean we just quit a job we don’t like, but that we are led by Him and trust Him, rather than the false security of money.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey, a fellow Family Dad

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And being a super busy dad is one of the gravest dangers to our families.

Something about being super busy, especially with our work, makes us feel productive, successful, a sense of accomplishment, purposeful.

To us, that is.

But not in the eyes of our children.

On more than one occassion, I am sad to admit that I have heard my oldest son scolding his younger sister or brother for interrupting when I’m busy working at my desk.

“Dad’s busy. Leave him alone.”

Oh how those words have cut to my heart like a knife. If there is one thing I don’t want my children to have memories of their father is that he was too busy for them.

If we are too busy with work to spend loads of time with our wife and children every week, then we are too busy — no excuses.

And the fallout down the road will be painful. Our spouse and children will look to other people or other things to fill the void that a husband and father’s love was meant for.

You are the only person on this earth that can meet that deep need your wife and children have. The need for their husband/father’s love expressed through his time with them.

Like a broken record, I will repeat it again…

We must show our love to our family by the time we personally spend interacting with each of them. Each week.

So from one super busy dad to another, let something go at work until next week. Keep one more thing “not crossed off” on your to-do list.

And go spend some more time with your wife and children.

You won’t regret it.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Host of FamilyDads.com

P.S. – Having to practice what I preach, I spent several hours yesterday afternoon in the large field behind our house picking wild mushrooms the size of potatoes and having a “war” throwing them long distances at my children. Each time one hit the ground, my kids burst out laughing at the explosion it made. We followed that up with throwing a frisbee together for quite a while. They loved our time together, and so did this dad!

P.P.S. – What did you think about the US mid-term election results? Will we see more pro-family legislation in the months ahead?  Post your comments at our FamilyDads Facebook page.

It is so easy to do. Especially if this was modeled to us by our own father.

As men, we have a tendency to connect our identity with such things as our income, our career, our financial status, and our material possessions.

And so we work… and work… and work.

I once had a high-stress, high-responsibility job where my ongoing intention was to “make it up to my family” by spending time with them at night, on the weekends, and on vacations.

But I was often exhausted from long days at the office with its accompanying pressures and stress.

The result was that my family really didn’t get much of their dad — even when he was physically present.

Either I had to make changes, or else I would lose my family.

Children who don’t get time with their dad inevitably look to other people and ways to find meaning, identity, love, and validation. And slowly but surely, their hearts turn away from their dad — one day at a time.

The same is true for our wives.

This is a reality some dads never discover, or else not before significant relational damage is done.

Ultimately we have to ask ourselves: Which is more important, my work or my family?

Let me encourage you to always be very conscious of this temptation of providing FOR your family at the expense of time WITH them. You are irreplaceable to your family. They love you and need you — every day.

Remember — it is the little, daily choices we make that will make the difference.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Practical Ways To Disciple Your Children
Parents are called and uniquely designed to disciple their children — not outsource this responsibility and priviledge to local churches or youth groups. Do you know the specific discipleship process Jesus used and how to apply it to your children? Learn More about Disciple Like Jesus For Parents

So imagine this scenario at your place of work. It’s Friday afternoon and your supervisor steps into your office with a seemingly casual question…

“Can you come into the conference room for a brief meeting?”

You finish your email, save the document, or complete whatever task you are right in the middle of, and then make your way down the hall to the company conference room. In the past, you’ve participated in many staff meetings, strategy planning sessions, and even birthday parties in this conference room, but none like today’s meeting.
“As you know, our company’s revenue has gone way down in recent months, and we’ve had to evaluate ways to significantly cut costs. Effective immediately, your position is being eliminated.”

And with that, you find yourself out of a job — without any advance notice and through no fault of your own. What makes this especially painful is the fact that you have given five years of faithful service to your company, many of those weeks spent working well over 40 hours.

When God closes a door in our lives — especially a major one like our work — the natural tendency is to panic and to project negative “what if” scenarios about our future. If we haven’t been in close relationship with God and regularly hearing from Him, we can be be easily overcome by feelings of fear, rejection, and even anger.

The song lyrics of “Look For A Window” give encouragement and advice to the person facing this very scenario:

Hot on the trail of God’s will
And getting warmer still
Stopped by the slam of a door
God, what’d You do that for?

When God closes a door, look for a window
Don’t stand at the door, there might be a window

Responsibilities change
And so do our pathways
One way God shows which way to go
Is to let the old road close

There’s no point in getting down on yourself
God is only pointing you somewhere else

In challenging times like this, a wise dad will go to God with this attitude in his heart and prayers…
“God, this did not take you by surprise. You knew this was going to happen, and You knew when it would happen. I am so grateful that you take care of me and my family. Help me guard my heart and my thoughts as I seek to know what you are doing in my life and what the next step is for me to take. You know our financial needs, and You are the source of provision for my family. So help me remain full of faith in You during this time, waiting on You, listening for Your promptings, and obedient to whatever You tell me. And thank You for your faithfulness to me during the past five years that I worked at this company.”

As I consider my closing thoughts on this topic, my six-year-old son, totally unaware of what I am writing about, just blurted out in the other room…

“Do you know what song I have in my head right now?”

He then proceeded to sing a kid’s song version of Matthew 6:34 which says, “Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will look after itself.”

I suspect that verse is directly for someone who will read this. Out of the mouth of babes!

If you’re in the midst of job transition, stay encouraged, and continue to…

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

PS – This would be a good post to forward along to another dad you may know who is in the midst of job transition. Also, take him out for lunch or breakfast and spend some time with him talking and praying together. He would probably appreciate your friendship, kindness, and prayer support right now.

Do you know the five Biblical uses of money, the spiritual power behind money, the symptoms to guage where you are spiritually with your finances, and the two different economic systems in the world? Learn More

His story makes a very strong case about our priorities…

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We all know how the economy is going nowadays, and probably most of us, if not all, are concerned about the near future, our jobs, and praying hard about it.

Yesterday at church I saw a good buddy of mine, and he was not looking good. So I took him aside and asked him what was going on. (We are accountability partners, and we often go straight to the point, no “how are you ?” between us.)

He told me that at his workplace “pink slips” were flying all around him, personnel reduction was the “word of the month,” and he was very worried about his job.

He works in IT and was studying madly to get a very hard IT certification to make his position harder to get rid of.

I understood, since I share his same concern, and I am in the ’same boat’ so to speak.

That made me think, and I told him the story I want to share with you all, that happened in my workplace last week.

Last Monday, as soon as we got to the office, we were told that one of the oldest executive managers in the company, “James” had passed on the night before, in his bed.

James was the General Manager of our most lucrative sales market, he had been the company VP and CFO
in different times, and was one of the oldest employees of the company.

The guy was working 12-14 hours a day, taking very little care of himself, and work was his life.

You all see where this is going, right?

A few days after the funeral, I was in the car with our VP, going to Dallas, for business. In the car we started to talk almost immediately about James and what had happened.

After a few casual comments of sorrow about his death, the VP made a comment that gave me the chills …

She said “You know, James “passing away” is going to save the company a lot of money, his salary was quite good, and all in all, we were considering “letting him go” anyway, for we still have to cut salaries and personnel…”

My heart sunk, for I realized how little “James” the man, the individual, had mattered to the company.

Technically, the comment was right.

Under the moral and “human” perspective, it was chilling.

Today, a week after the event, “James” is nearly forgotten.

Gone, merely a faint memory. His position will not be replaced, the company will save money, and that is the end of a 17 years old career.

Guys, put your time, heart and effort in your family and in God.

I still remember the stories my grandfather used to tell me, and he passed away 25 years ago.

My children still laugh and cherish the stories I tell them about my mother’s grandfather…

It’s just money, folks… rust and moths.

What really matters is in the hearts of people you live with, share laughs, experience life and faith with.

You (we all) are not what your job says.

We are fathers, husbands, a brother, a friend, a son of a wonderful God.

Your company will erase the memory of you in a few days, if you drop dead tomorrow.

Your family will remember you forever — put your sweat and effort where it will bear good fruits.

Sorry for the story, it’s probably depressing, but I felt the urgent need to vent…

God Bless you all, brothers.

TexasDad

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I pray this story has been a clear reminder to all of us dads of what and who to truly prioritize in 2009.

Blessings to you and your family in this new year,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

PS – The best resource I’ve found on helping dads make and keep the right priorities is–
http://www.dadresources.com/product.asp?itemid=15

Every week, we men are tempted to consume ourselves with our work at the expense of our family — to make our work the highest focus of our lives. This is because of the amount of time we spend at work, the challenges we face at work, the level of responsibility we perceive in our work, and the money we receive in exchange for our time, our services, and our skills. And for many men, it is also because of the level of “calling” we believe we have in our work.

However, this focus on our work often results in neglecting the greatest influence we will ever have — in the lives of our children. Especially while they are young and still living in our homes.

This influence is our FATHER POWER. It is the level of influence we have in the lives of our children and their destinies simply because we are their fathers. It is the result of our relationship with them and our position of authority in their lives. Our relationship with each of our children will last for the remainder of our life, as well as impact them long after we are gone. And potentially for eternity.

Many of us dads miss this as we busy our lives with our work — week after week – month after month — while our children grow up receiving dominant influence from sources other than their dad.

If work is a higher priority in your life than your family, make a commitment to change that starting today. The FamilyDads emails are written to help you prioritize your family and disciple your children, to be encouraged as a dad, and to give you recommendations of helpful dad resources. Please forward these emails to other dads you know. And find one or two other dads to meet with regularly who share this desire to prioritize our families.

Two outstanding resources on today’s topic which I have personally read and give my highest endorsement are Father Power by Todd Wilson and Choosing to Cheat by Andy Stanley.

Your purchase of these books at www.DadResources.com
provides direct financial support to FamilyDads so we can reach more dads
with these critical messages of fatherhood.

by Joey Watkins

Today’s message is dedicated to all dads everywhere who have children still living at home. I pray this message will penetrate our hearts and impact our actions.

As tempting and overwhelming as it is, we must not let our work consume us. It is so passively easy to get wrapped up in our work, be absorbed in thoughts and actions to get our work done, take on more projects, try to bring closure to existing projects, focus our effort and energy on our work, and give constant attention to our job/career/business to generate more income or because our identity, purpose, or calling are falsely tied to our work.

All at the expense of our family… our wives and children. They crave time with us. They desperately need our time. They need us to simply spend time with them. Often. Daily.

They need our influence. They need relationship with us. And this cannot happen if our work consumes us.

Are our wives and children not the most important people on earth in our lives?

Do we not cherish them greater than everyone else?

Let us then be committed as dads to prioritize them. Every day. Not just on the weekends when we “unwind” from our work.

“But my work is my sacrifice for my family and my way of providing for them.”

The Bible says in 1 Samuel 15:22 that “…to obey is better than sacrifices.” God has called each of us dads to obey Him and His Word in raising our children and loving our wives. And that involves our TIME and proactive involvement in their lives.

As a husband and dad with 4 young children, I constantly remind myself of this message. I pray it stays at the top of your thoughts too.

R E S O U R C E S   for   D A D S